Never Tickle a Sleeping Dragon
by theicemenace
Summary: Sam has cabin fever so she and Jennifer accompany Team Sheppard on their next "cakewalk" mission but will a case of mistaken identity put all their lives in danger?  Rated K - K plus.  Last chapter.  Please R
1. Cakewalks and Cabin Fever

**A/N:** This story is a birthday gift for my good friend and brainstorming buddy, LoneRanger1.

Time period: After _Trio _but before _The Last Man._

FYI - It's a very sneaky writer who gets the birthday boy to help with his own gift. Work it out.

Many thanks to ladygris, Shadows-of-Realm, dwparsnip and DaniWilder for their assistance with brainstorming and Beta-ing. Even if I didn't use your idea, it's been stored for posterity.

_Feliz Cumpleaños, mi amigo!_

Sandy

**Never Tickle a Sleeping Dragon**

**Chapter 1**

**Cakewalks and Cabin Fever**

"…and we have to go to M8X-585 _why_?" Rodney complained as he and John were gearing up in the armory. "We already know they don't have any advanced technology that could help us fight the Wraith. The MALP didn't detect energy signatures except geothermal from a moderately active volcano, nor did the team that made the Jumper fly-over." He picked up the Glock, checked the safety and shoved it into its holster while his other hand reached for extra ammo.

"Because Carter ordered us to, that's why." After zipping up the front of his TAC vest, John adjusted it more comfortably on his shoulders then ran a hand through his unruly hair. He usually kept it a little shorter but his hair grew fast and he hadn't had time to get it cut. For the time being he settled for extra gel to keep it in place. He checked his P-90, attached it to the neck strap and scooped up several magazines shoving them into various pockets on his vest. "All we're gonna do is make contact, smile, kiss a few babies, and see what they have that we can use and what we can offer them in trade." He left the armory followed by the physicist.

"I suppose it's too much to hope for that they have a few fully charged ZedPMs just lying around not doing anything like protecting the population from being culled."

"Maybe." They entered the transporter. "Relax. It'll be a cakewalk."

"You know, every time you say that someone, usually me, ends up getting hurt. Just for once I'd like everything to work out to where _I_ won't have to save our asses at the last second with one of my brilliantly concocted and flawlessly executed plans."

"Don't worry, Rodney. We're _not_ gonna be running for our lives again."

"You better be right."

"I _am_. You'll see."

Rodney wanted to believe him, but he was by nature a skeptic and advocate of the worst case scenario. In his mind, Murphy was an optimist, delusional and quite possibly psychotic. Saying a mission was going to be trouble-free virtually guaranteed that everything that _could_ go wrong _would_ go wrong. As he had on numerous occasions, Rodney hoped this would be one of the few times he was proven wrong.

In the Gate Room, Ronon waited alongside Sergeant Dusty Mehra, newly arrived on Atlantis and taking Teyla's place on the team during her pregnancy. They were joined in short order by John, Rodney, Sam and Jennifer, both women geared up in black mission uniforms. Jennifer carried a hand weapon and a field medical kit while Sam looked more than a little dangerous with a P-90 cradled in her arms.

"Colonel?" John inquired of his commanding officer.

"The information in the Ancient database indicates it's a matriarchal society so…" she shrugged one shoulder. "Jennifer's coming along to make it an even three and three."

Rodney scoffed. "Oh, that's a _great_ reason to take someone who's only been on what, two offworld missions?"

"Four," Jennifer countered, "but who's counting?"

"_You_ are, obviously. Not to mention the last trip the three of us took together didn't end well."

"Don't go falling into any abandoned mines, McKay, and we'll be fine." Sam resisted the urge to make an even snarkier comment though she did make a mental note in case she wanted to use it later.

* * *

Jennifer rolled her eyes but didn't respond to Rodney's sarcasm. He was right, but she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of saying so.

She realized not long after she arrived on Atlantis that the physicist used arrogance and sarcasm as a shield to keep people from getting too close and to cover his anxieties and neuroses. He must have been hurt badly to be that afraid of getting close to anyone. Well, except John. Holding in a snort she thought how they were such total opposites yet somehow they'd become good friends. More than likely because each had something the other lacked.

After their return from M5V-801 they'd had that drink together. She'd thought they had a good time but he'd never followed up on the interest he'd shown. Granted, they'd been busy since then, but the least he could do is ask to see _her_ when he came to get refills of his allergy meds, maybe even ask her on a real date.

The Colonel was a whole other barrel of monkeys. She wasn't a psychologist by any means though, like all medical doctors, she did have a basic knowledge of the inner workings of the human mind and how it can affect one's health. He pretended to be laid-back and untroubled, letting people think it didn't bother him to spend time on his own. But she'd seen the look on his face when he was sitting by himself in the bar or the Mess Hall. He wasn't as much a lone wolf as he wanted them to think he was. He _wanted_ to be close to people but didn't know how to accomplish it without having to give up a part of himself.

It made her just a little sad for both men.

* * *

"You sure you should be doing this, Sam?" Rodney asked as they walked through the forest toward the nearest village.

Sam's leg had healed nicely but still had a tendency to tire if she overdid it. "I'm _fine_. The last time I was offworld was our trip to M5V-801. Cabin fever was setting in."

"Which was an abysmal _failure_, if memory serves, and you know it does."

"Relax, Rodney. She's been cleared for duty," Jennifer added. "I'm only coming along just in case."

"In case of what? A stubbed toe?" He glared at the medical doctor and she just rolled her eyes again making Dusty snicker. "What happens if you have to, I don't know do surgery in some dark, dank, germ-infested cave? You have an entire operating theater in there?"

Jennifer muttered under her breath, but no one could catch it. Didn't _want_ to catch it to go by the look on her face.

"You don't play well with others, do you, McKay?" Sam asked not really expecting an answer. "Just don't argue in front of the natives."

Rodney took a deep breath to spout more rhetoric, but Dusty's gum popped and somehow it broke the tension, whether she meant it to or not.

* * *

At the Stargate, John had taken point with Ronon on their six and the rest in between, but by the time they'd reached the village the group was walking two by two. Sam was in front next to John, Rodney and Jennifer in the middle with Dusty and Ronon bringing up the rear.

When they neared the village they could see that many of the buildings were made of stone though a few were made of wood. To their left stood a castle. It was small as castles go, no more than ten thousand square meters, but it was by far the largest visible structure. It had been surrounded by a moat at one time but only a trickle remained. The drawbridge was in the up position and they could see that it had been barricaded for many years. One of the towers had lost its roof as if something had knocked it off and it had never been repaired. Here and there were scorch marks. Some were faded by time and the elements while others were much more recent. John pointed it out to Sam, but neither was certain if it meant that the residents were too poor to do the repairs or no one lived there anymore.

As they reached the first of the buildings at the outer edges of the village, they could hear the pounding of metal on metal of a blacksmith, children laughing, voices calling out to each other, animals of all kinds and other unidentifiable sounds. At least to people used to much higher levels of technology. They followed the sounds to a small square.

The group came to an open area filled with children of all ages running and playing. In the center was a fountain with a well next to it. Women and men were grouped around performing various tasks, washing, mending, working with leather.

Near the entrance to one structure, an older woman was spinning wool, her fingers deftly twisting the fibers into thread for weaving.

Others were cooking over fires while still more were kneading dough. A teenage boy carried the finished products inside on a large wooden board. The smell of baking bread had the Atlanteans sniffing the air hungrily.

The villager's clothing was something out of the Renaissance era, some woolen, but most were dressed in the lighter material of linen in deference to the warmth of the season. Earth tones were popular with flashes of brighter colors here and there. The men wore vests and several of the women had on dresses with laced bodices. Leather was in evidence as well. Belts, jerkins, doublets, baldrics, shoes, and so forth.

John was about to announce their presence when the children noticed them and stopped their game. They just stared at the oddly dressed strangers. A collective gasp came from the adults though the older woman never once ceased her spinning. She kept watching them with a guarded eye.

Sam stepped forward and addressed the children. "Hi kids. We're…" The children turned and ran from the square, some shrieking in fear. She shrugged and turned to the adults. "Hello, I'm Colonel Car…" Several of the men and women got up and quickly followed the children. The rest seemed too stunned to move. She turned to her companions. "What's _that_ all about?"

With a shrug, John said, "Maybe they're afraid of you. I know _I_ am." At her expression of disbelief he added, "Not _now_, but, you know, sometimes."

"Oh."

The villagers that remained watched warily as the group from Atlantis made their way to the other side of the square and down a cobbled street toward the center of town. Here, a larger crowd was engaged in similar tasks though there were also shops selling various items. One had a sign indicating its wares were food, drink and lodging though, from the reception they'd gotten so far, not many strangers came through.

When they were finally spotted, all conversation and activity came to a halt. Sam and John shared a confused glance as others came out of the shops to join their neighbors. After a few moments of stunned silence, whispering began. An older woman pulled a man close, said something that couldn't be heard by the team, and he took off running down one of the side streets. The eyes of the crowd kept darting from the strangers to something over their shoulders.

"Carter."

Sam turned and saw Ronon and Dusty standing in front of a painted metal statue on a pedestal. It was of a tall well-built woman in a short skirted outfit that, from the texture, was made of leather. The inlays on the front drew the eye to her breasts and epaulets adorned her shoulders. The ensemble was rounded out with wrist guards and knee-high boots. Her clothing and accessories were decorated with metal studs. In both hands, she held a gleaming metal sword high over her right shoulder. The handle was decorative without being ostentatious. On the insides of her wrists were symbols in the same script as the plaque at the base.

Her hair was held back in a braid that fell nearly to her waist and was painted to express strawberry blonde. The group moved around in front and bright blue eyes gave them a fair rendition of a certain Air Force officer's patented death glare.

They could only stare while Rodney, who'd seen that particular expression aimed in his direction on numerous occasions, most recently this morning, voiced what they were all thinking. "Sam, that's _you_!"

**TBC**


	2. The Best Man For the Job is a Woman

**A/N:** This story is a birthday gift for my good friend and brainstorming buddy, LoneRanger1.

Many thanks to ladygris, Shadows-of-Realm, dwparsnip and DaniWilder for their assistance with brainstorming and Beta-ing. Even if I didn't use your idea, it's been stored for posterity.

_Feliz Cumpleaños, mi amigo!_

Sandy

**Never Tickle a Sleeping Dragon **

**Chapter 2**

**The Best Man for the Job…Is a Woman**

Rodney ran the writing etched into the base of the pedestal through his translation program. "Okay, boys and girls. Here's the story. Hundreds of years ago, a warrior breezed into town one day staying just long enough to rid the village of evil then was gone again. According to the legend, she promised to return if ever this evil presence came back which it and she did on several occasions. The last time was, uh, around fifty years ago. She's hailed as a hero to the people of Fritheswithe, which incidentally is the name of this quaint little hamlet." The accent he put on the word quaint told his companions he thought it anything but. He looked the statue up and down, his eyes lingering in the usual places. "And those tattoos on her wrists mean 'strength' and 'truth'."

Sam grunted at Rodney's final comment and looked closer at the face of the warrior woman. "That does _not_ look like me."

"Uh, yeah, it does," the physicist countered.

She huffed at him and turned to John.

"It does _kinda_ look like you. Around the eyes." John pointed at his hazel ones in illustration.

"And hair," Jennifer added without being asked.

When Sam looked at Ronon and Dusty for their opinions, he just nodded and she blew a bubble.

The villagers had gathered around, all shocked to see a statue come to life. A commotion in the back drew their attention to a mixed group of men and women. A sixty-ish woman led the way, the curious onlookers parting for her to pass. Her shoulder-length hair was black with streaks of silver throughout. She stopped in front of Sam, her brown eyes examining every one of the Colonel's features. When she'd completed her assessment, she nodded once, and made a small bow. The other villagers followed her example.

"Lady Samira, I am Chief Elder Elspeth. The residents of Fritheswithe welcome you once again to our humble village."

"Samantha."

"Pardon?" Elspeth asked, eyebrows drawn together.

"My _name_. It's _Samantha_, not _Samira_. Colonel Samantha Carter. My friends call me…never mind." Her name made its way through the crowd to those in the back who couldn't hear what was going on. Sam and John communicated silently then she introduced each of the team. "Colonel John Sheppard."

John nodded and gave Elspeth his most charming smile. "Ma'am."

"…Dr. Jennifer Keller, Dr. Rodney McKay, Ronon Dex and Sergeant Dusty Mehra." She faced forward again. "We came through the Stargate, uh, the Ring of the Ancestors. We're from Atlantis."

Elspeth looked puzzled. "What is a Stargate?"

John, not one to stay silent for long, hooked a thumb over his shoulder in the general direction from which they'd come. "It's that big round thing about two klicks, uh, kilometers back that way." Elspeth just blinked at him. He coughed and shut up.

"The Chakram, what you call the Stargate, is the portal through which the Lady Samira has vowed to return. She has ordered that her arrival and departure should not be witnessed for fear it would drive an ordinary mortal mad," the Regent told John before turning back to Sam. "Is the village of Atlantis your home?"

"Yes, it is."

"You and your people must be tired from your journey. Come." The older woman gestured to the tavern. "We will provide you with food and drink."

"Great! I'm starving." Rodney eyes lit up. "I haven't eaten since…"

Together, Jennifer and Sam said, "McKay!"

He immediately backed down. "Okay, _fine._"

Elspeth led the way and again the crowed parted to allow her and the visitors to pass. They followed, milling around the front of the tavern talking in low voices. Some even pressed their faces to the dusty windows. A few minutes later, the owner, a woman named Winifred, came out and shooed them away. "Away with you. Let the Lady Samantha and her companions eat and drink in peace."

With a groan of disappointment, they did as she bid them and soon the square was nearly empty again.

* * *

Inside, Rodney tapped John on the shoulder. "You know, this sorta looks like…"

"…the inn at the beginning of that Harry Potter movie…" John continued.

"…the one with those creepy guards from the wizard's prison." Jennifer concluded.

"Dementors." Dusty added then popped her gum showing the disdain she held for the creatures.

The interior was much cleaner than pubs on other planets they'd visited. It was obvious that much care was taken to keep it that way. Even now, a young man was sweeping the floor, a towel tossed over his shoulder which he used to wipe down the tables.

From the kitchen they could smell food cooking as well as hear the clack and clatter of pots, pans and dishes. Voices called out to each other with the occasional burst of laughter.

"Please sit." Winifred gestured and the Atlanteans seated themselves just as a middle-aged man appeared with a tray of drinks. He set a mug in front of each, all but Ronon sniffing the brew suspiciously. "This is the drink that the Lady Samira consumed to celebrate a great victory. We give it to you now to commemorate your glorious return, Lady Samantha."

The Satedan lifted the pewter mug and downed most of the contents in one long swallow. When he didn't begin vomiting, writhing on the ground or screaming in agony, the rest followed suit. John and Dusty seemed to like it but Sam and Jennifer spit theirs back into the mug while making sounds of disgust.

Her voice low, Sam said, "Oh, God, that's _awful_."

Rodney swallowed a mouthful, his face twisting in revulsion. "You know that last bit of coffee that's been dried in the bottom of the pot for about a week? This tastes like someone reconstituted it with rusty water, a handful of dirt and some flowers thrown in for no good reason."

"Arrogant Bastard," John interjected as he wiped a small amount of foam from his upper lip.

"Oh, _really_? Well, let me tell _you_, Colonel Pain-In-The…"

"Rodney! It's _beer_." John lifted his empty mug to get the attention of the bartender indicating he wanted a refill.

The man, who'd introduced himself as Horsik, hurried to comply, filling Ronon and Dusty's mugs as well. He frowned when he realized the others had barely started theirs. "Is it not to your liking?"

"Uh…" Sam didn't want to insult the man but it was by far the _nastiest_ tasting thing she'd ever drunk. "It's…no, it's fine. We're just gonna…savor it…slowly." _Very__ slowly!_

Rodney was about to make another sarcastic remark when two young women emerged from the kitchen carrying bowls of hot stew. Hodge, the same young man who'd been sweeping earlier, brought loaves of freshly baked bread and bowls of hand churned butter.

A bright smile lit up the physicist's face. "Now _this_ is more like it." He took a small taste then began shoveling the meat and vegetables into his mouth as if he had indeed been starved.

Sam looked around, but Elspeth, Winifred and the others had left them alone. Picking up her spoon, she sighed as she pushed the food around in the bowl.

John noticed and nudged her with his elbow. "Eat up, Warrior Princess. Can't fight evil on an empty stomach."

His commanding officer lifted on eyebrow at him, but did as he suggested. When the first bite hit her tongue, she realized how hungry she was and, for the next few minutes, dedicated herself to appeasing that need.

Horsik came out and was overjoyed that they'd all cleaned their plates. "Are you still hungry? What else can we get you?"

Rodney belched and pushed his bowl away. "Got any ZedPMs lying around doing nothing?"

"What is a Zed…"

"…PM. It's a device that extracts vacuum energy from an artificial region of subspace-time until it reaches maximum entropy. Then…" He saw the blank look on Horsik's face and stopped. "Dessert. Please."

Horsik went back to the kitchen and reappeared shortly with a small plate for each. Nestled in the center was a golden brown pastry that looked and smelled like homemade apple dumplings. The team from Atlantis devoured the offering, washing it down with hot tea.

* * *

Elspeth returned with several of the village elders just as the team finished eating. She introduced them as Cordelia, Tyrian, Ulrich, and Valerian.

In an aside to John, Rodney said, "_Great_. We're being escorted by the cast of _Dragonslayer_, _Xena_, _Hercules,_ _Angel_ and _Buffy, the Vampire Slayer_. Let's all have a fun-filled night of gratuitous violence."

John didn't respond except to give the physicist one of his regular glares. One that was meant to annoy instead of injure. As always, Rodney ignored him.

The elders took the team on a tour of the area then brought them back to the tavern. "We would be honored to have you and your companions stay the night, Lady Samantha. Rooms have already been prepared."

Sam almost said no but the hopeful and expectant faces of the elders halted the words before they could be formed. With a smile she hoped looked genuine, she said, "We'd love to." She motioned Ronon and Dusty forward, lowering her voice. "Give Atlantis a SitRep. Let them know we'll be staying the night, maybe two. We'll check in no later than 0900 Atlantis time and every six hours from there."

"Yes, Ma'am." Dusty nodded and followed Ronon down the street and around a corner.

* * *

When Dusty and Ronon returned, Winifred led them up the stairs and down to the end of the hall. John dropped back to speak quietly with Ronon and Rodney. "There're only three rooms. Carter's in one, Mehra and Keller in the second and the three of us'll share." He stuck a fist out. "Rock-paper-scissors to see who gets the bed."

"But…" Rodney started to protest. John just glared at him. "_Fine._" He stuck his fist out as did the Satedan.

While they were doing that, Winifred had drawn the three women to the only room on the left pushing the door open with a small flourish. The furniture was made of a dark wood, heavy and ornate in curlicues with finials on the bedposts. At the foot of the bed sat a huge trunk appointed with leather accents. A large mirror over the dresser reflected the flickering flames of the candles and oil lamps. The bed coverings were made of a material that looked soft and cozy in colors of rich purple, deep red and green.

They followed her to the room at the end of the hall which was similarly furnished but with red, gold and russet bed coverings. The third room, on the right, had green, blue and copper as the color scheme.

Winifred clasped her hands together in front of her, pride in her establishment in her smile. "The Lady Samantha and Sir John will take the room on the left, Lady Jennifer and Sir Rodney the one at the end of the hall and Lady Dusty and Sir Ronon the one on the right. Sleep well, and in the morning you will meet with the elders once again as there is much to discuss and plans to be made."

She headed for the stairs but turned back when John said, "Um,_ what_?" at the same time Rodney said, "_Where_?"

"With your mates, of course." She gestured at the women. "Oh. You have no sleeping attire. I will bring some up." Lifting the hem of her long skirt exactly seven centimeters, she turned and descended the stairs.

"What the _hell_ is she talking ab-" Ronon laid a hand on Rodney's shoulder, a smirk in place of his usual expression. It meant he knew something the physicist didn't. He glanced at the faces of his companions. They were all wearing the same expression. He huffed at them when they remained silent. "Just _tell_ me."

Sam cleared her throat, keeping her voice low. "Um, she thinks the three of _you_…" she waved a hand to include all three men, "…are our…" indicating herself, Dusty and Jennifer, barely able to keep from laughing, "…_mates_."

**TBC**

**A/N:** Yes, Virginia, there really is a beer called Arrogant Bastard. It's brewed by the Stone Brewing Company in Escondido, California.


	3. All Knight Long

**A/N:** This story is a birthday gift for my good friend and brainstorming buddy, LoneRanger1

Many thanks to ladygris, Shadows-of-Realm, dwparsnip and DaniWilder for their assistance with brainstorming and Beta-ing. Even if I didn't use your idea, it's been stored for posterity.

_Feliz Cumpleaños, mi amigo!_

Sandy

**Never Tickle a Sleeping Dragon**

**Chapter 3**

**All Knight Long**

John, Jennifer and Rodney were having a hushed yet heated discussion with Sam about the sleeping arrangements that finally ended when Sam put her foot down, figuratively. "We'll just have to work it out as best we can."

"What if the women sleep in one room and the men in another?" Rodney asked anxiously. He wanted to be alone with Jennifer, but not quite in this way, not yet. Insecurity had kept him from following up their drink with another, more involved date.

"What if they see us? We can't risk insulting them."

John nodded in agreement. "Yeah. They've been friendly up till now. Let's not rock the boat."

Winifred returned at that moment with one of the young girls in tow. The proprietress carried three small, delicate-looking glass carafes and six matching cups on a tray. She bustled into each room leaving one carafe and two cups behind. "Here's tea for you to drink. It's a nighttime tradition. Anya?" The girl stepped forward, a bundle of clothing in her arms. Winifred passed one of the garments to each of the Atlanteans. "If you require a fire to keep away the night's chill, please let Horsik know."

When she was gone again, they held up the off white nightshirts. On most of them it ended mid-calf or lower but on Ronon, it barely reached his knees.

To forestall the inevitable complaints, Sam raised her hand. "Not a word. We'll wear them and keep our weapons with us at all times. Two-hour shifts starting with Sheppard. Ronon, you're next then Mehra and myself. Rodney, you and Jennifer are off the hook for tonight."

* * *

Rodney grumbled and complained as he followed Jennifer to the room they were to share but shut up when the door closed behind them. Both were more than a little nervous casting uneasy glances at the king-sized bed.

"Um…" Jennifer looked around for a place to change and found the bathroom, "…I'll change first." She took one of the lamps and closed the door firmly behind her.

Rodney tried not to think of her being naked, even if it was just for a few moments while she got into the nightshirt. To keep from torturing himself with those thoughts, he pulled back the covers on the bed noting there were several layers, a sheet, a quilt and the spread. When it came time to get into bed he would sleep between the top two so she wouldn't have to worry about him crossing the line. Not that he would take advantage of her or any other woman, but he didn't want there to be any question.

By the time Jennifer came out, he'd removed his TAC vest, shoes and socks. He stowed his weapons between their pillows then went in and changed leaving his boxers on underneath as a precaution.

When he came out, she poured them each a cup of the tea. They sipped in silence for a few moments. Rodney fumbled the empty cup and she could tell he was even more nervous than she. They both yawned as they headed for opposite sides of the bed. "I'll, uh, sleep between the covers so you don't…"

Jennifer looked up from tucking her own weapon with his. With a smile she hoped would dispel his concern, she said, "That's not necessary, Rodney. The bed's plenty big enough for both of us and I trust you."

"If you're sure…"

"I am." Lifting her side of the covers, she slipped underneath, adjusted the pillow so the Beretta wouldn't poke her in the head and turned on her side to face away from him. He kept turning side to side trying to get comfortable.

"Rodney! Lay _still_ or we'll never get to sleep."

"Sorry. I'm used to my prescription mattress."

With a sigh she rolled onto her back watching him. "Do you trust me?"

"Of course."

"Good. Face that way." She waited while he complied then scooted close enough they had to share his pillow. Tucking her left arm around his chest, she pulled him close. Sensing his apprehension made her smile just a little. "There. Now go to sleep." Resting her chin on his shoulder she closed her eyes and sighed in contentment. Eventually, he did relax and before long, they were both sound asleep.

* * *

Dusty and Ronon each drank a cup of the tea then, while she was in the bathroom changing, he changed in the outer room. The sleepwear and bed didn't bother him as he could sleep almost anywhere and under any conditions. A holdover from when he'd been a Runner, sleep had been a luxury that he'd elevated to an art form.

He was snoring loudly, his energy weapon clutched in one hand, when Dusty tucked her weapons between them. She turned on her side away from Ronon sprawled on the other side and went immediately to sleep.

* * *

John scouted out the upper floor while Sam changed and returned to their room when she called. She handed him a cup of tea.

"I'm good."

"It's just _tea_, John."

He shrugged and drank it down. "Mmm. Sort of sweet and minty. Well, uh, good night." Taking his weapon, he went out in the hall to begin his watch. As soon as the household was sleep he planned on thoroughly exploring the ground floor, maybe even raid the kitchen for a snack.

Pacing the length of the hallway, he paused at the top of the stairs to listen for movement. He could still hear people talking below so he kept to the second floor. On his fourth lap he sat down on the top step and covered a yawn. Resting his head against the wall, he fell asleep between one breath and the next, his weapon held loosely in his lap.

In the room, Sam slipped under the covers and was asleep within seconds, one hand holding her Beretta.

**In The Morning**

**Are We Having Fun Yet?**

"Sheppard! John, wake up!"

John opened his eyes to see he was in bed on his side facing the bathroom. Sam was behind him, one hand on his shoulder, shaking him. He rubbed his eyes and rolled onto his back. "I'm up. I'm up."

"What happened last night?"

He didn't like the tone of her voice. She sounded angry and upset. It brought him wide awake and to a sitting position. Sam was kneeling on the other side of the bed, her long blonde hair tousled from sleep. "The _hell__!_ How did I get _here_? The last thing I remember was standing watch. I've _never_ fallen asleep on watch." Now that he was wide awake and able to think more clearly, he remembered sitting on the top step of the stairs and…nothing. Nada. A big goose egg. Sweet Fanny Adams. Zip. Zilch until Sam woke him up. "Oh, crap! We were…"

"…drugged." She climbed out her side as he did the same, meeting her at the foot of the bed.

"Yeah."

"That's not all." Looking pointedly at him, she pursed her lips in amusement and that's when John realized he was no longer wearing his BDU.

"Where the _hell_ is my uniform?" A surreptitious check told him he was still wearing his boxers and t-shirt under the nightshirt. He breathed a sigh of relief that he hadn't been in bed naked with his CO, even if she was a beautiful, strong, intelligent, sexy-make that _very_ sexy, woman. "I'm sure I was a perfect gentleman though."

"Believe me you'd _know_ if you weren't." She really did enjoy torturing her 2IC. Her lips twitched and she gave in to a smile as she drew his attention to the dresser against the wall across from the bed. Two P-90s, one Glock and one Berretta had been carefully placed side by side. Also there was the additional ammo, binoculars and other items they'd been carrying in their TAC vests and the pockets of their BDUs, including the neck straps. They quickly checked everything out, satisfied that nothing had been tampered with.

A quick search of the room confirmed that their uniforms were gone. In their places were clothing items similar to that worn by the villagers. They couldn't go out in their nightshirts so they dressed and went into the hall to find that the rest of the team was in the same situation.

John was in black pants tucked into brown knee-high boots with elaborate lacing up the front reminiscent of those rumored to be worn by Robin Hood. His shirt was white with a lace-up front at the collar and fit like it was made especially for him. It was untucked with a black double wrap belt.

Rodney was dressed much like John but in a dark purple shirt with black pants and boots but only a single wrap belt.

Ronon, looking like he'd just stepped out of _The Seven Voyages of Sinbad,_ was the only one who seemed to be completely at ease with his new clothing, his energy pistol shoved into the belt.

To the relief of the three women, they'd been given men's clothing instead of dresses except that their footwear was ankle-high boots made of the same suede-like material. Sam wore midnight blue, Jennifer burgundy and Dusty a deep forest green.

"Is anything missing aside from our clothes?" Sam asked Rodney.

"Our weapons were on the dresser when we woke up this morning along with my equipment and Jennifer's medical kit. All neatly arranged, as if on display and no, nothing's missing."

Sam saw Rodney didn't look at all happy and was keeping his face averted from Jennifer as she was from him. If she didn't know better, she'd have thought they… She mentally shook her head. They wouldn't compromise a mission by engaging in a one-night stand. Besides, neither was the type. They were too competitive, especially with each other. It would never work out.

"Gear up as best we can," Sam ordered. "We're getting some answers, _and_ our uniforms back, if we have to take this…" she slanted her eyes at Rodney, "…_quaint_ little hamlet apart brick by brick."

* * *

Sam led the way down to the first floor and found Winifred serving a table in the far corner. When she saw them she hurried over, a delighted smile on her face. "Good day, Lady Samantha. Did you and your companions sleep well last night?"

The rest of the team stood back out of the way. They'd seen the sparks in her blue eyes before and it did _not_ bode well for the object of her ire. "We slept _fine_. Better than fine actually."

"Wonderful. Please, sit. I will have food and drink brought out for you to begin your day."

"_Not_ wonderful! You _drugged_ us."

"Drugged?" The woman was genuinely confused. "I don't know what you mean."

"You gave us something that knocked us out." The Air Force Colonel gripped her weapon tighter as if that would keep her temper under control and it did help a little. She took a deep breath and inhaled the scents of baking bread, meat, and who knew what else. It made her stomach rumble, but she ignored the needs of her body in favor of her need know. "It was in the tea. What I _want_ to know is _why_."

The young man from the day before came out of the kitchen and began setting a table for six. He was followed by the same young women. They set large plates heaped with a variety of meats, vegetables, cheeses and bakery items in the center of the table. Apparently the morning meal was eaten family style.

"The beverage you were given at bedtime is a combination of herbs and roots. They are simmered together and the broth consumed to facilitate sleep after a long journey such as you made from Atlantis to Fritheswithe."

"So it doesn't affect your people the way it did us?"

"No, we drink the tea before retiring for the night. Soon we are asleep and our dreams are pleasant."

* * *

John leaned close to Rodney and whispered, "Why am I not buying that?" The physicist just grunted and twitched one shoulder. John watched Rodney and Jennifer not watching each other. On the hike to the village they'd stayed side by side even though they'd bickered most of the time. "What's with you and the Doc?"

"Nothing. And in case you haven't figured it out after more than four years of working together, this is my I-don't-want-to-talk-about-it face." For something to do, Rodney took out his scanner and waved it around then compared the readings with the ones the MALP had taken. Not that he thought it would help their situation, but it kept him from having to work to keep from looking at Jennifer.

Moving over to stand by Ronon and Dusty, John crossed his arms, an expression of concern on his handsome face. "Hey, Chewy, what's with McKay? He's usually the first one to the table for breakfast, lunch _and_ dinner. But he's not even salivating."

The Satedan shrugged his massive shoulders.

"Fight with Dr. Keller?" Dusty suggested.

With a shrug of his own, John tuned back in on Sam and Winifred's conversation.

* * *

"What about our uniforms, the clothes we arrived in? Why did you take them and leave us…" Sam waved at her team who now looked as if they were escapees from a Renaissance festival, "…these?"

"Your clothing needed cleaning. That is being done as we speak."

Sam didn't like it but she let it go. After all, they still had their weapons and equipment. Aside from someone undressing John and putting him in bed with her without his _or_ her knowledge, no harm was done. And it really was one of the best night's sleep she'd had since taking command of Atlantis.

"Good. Um…" She pointed with her chin at the food-laden table. "Is that for us?"

Winifred's eyes lit up as she drew them over. "Please." She waited while the Atlanteans served themselves. "Eat as much as you like. It will fortify you for the coming battle."

All but Ronon and Dusty stopped with their forks poised in the air. They exchanged apprehensive glances and Sam quickly swallowed her mouthful of food. "Excuse me?"

"As in the past, you have once again come to rid us of Ashkore, the Flame Eater." The proprietress turned toward the kitchen but stopped when John spoke up.

"And that is…" He knew without hearing the answer he wouldn't like it.

To their surprise, Winifred and Hodge smiled. "It's a dragon, of course."

**TBC**


	4. Myth Takes

**A/N:** This story is a birthday gift for my good friend and brainstorming buddy, LoneRanger1.

Many thanks to ladygris, Shadows-of-Realm, dwparsnip and DaniWilder for their assistance with brainstorming and Beta-ing. Even if I didn't use your idea, it's been stored for posterity.

_Feliz Cumpleaños, mi amigo!_

Sandy

**Never Tickle a Sleeping Dragon **

**Chapter 4**

**Myth-Takes**

_I was right. I __don't__ like the answer,_ John thought. Out loud he said, "So we have to fight a _dragon_."

Winifred exchanged a glance with Hodge. "No, of course not."

John's relief was so intense his shoulders sagged a little. "Oh, good, because I left my dragonslaying clothes at home."

"_Lady_ _Samantha_ must slay the dragon. It is her destiny, her purpose for coming to Fritheswithe through the Chakram."

"But what…how…um…" Sam's eyes caught those of her companions as they waited for her to speak, but she couldn't seem to get the words out. Taking a deep breath to calm the roiling in her head and stomach, she surprised everyone by giving Winifred, Hodge and the young women, finally introduced as Willow and Anya, a dazzling smile. "Do you mind leaving us alone? We'd like to eat and do a little strategizing on how I'm going defeat, uh…"

"Ashkore, the Flame Eater."

"Yeah, him." The smile stayed until the villagers were out of earshot then was gone as if it had never been. "Well, _this_ is potentially problematic."

"And the Wraith are just a nuisance." Rodney said with as much sarcasm as he had within him. He turned to John sitting on his left. "So, Colonel Confident, when _exactly_ does the cakewalk portion of this adventure begin?"

John finished chewing and swallowed while pushing the food around on his plate. "Okay, so I made a slight miscalculation."

"Slight miscalculation? Yeah, and it was a _slight miscalculation_ that blew up five-sixths of a solar system." Rodney stabbed violently at a piece of meat that resembled a sausage. He thought about asking what was in it but figured he'd enjoy it a lot more if he _didn't_ know.

"_That's_ what I'm talking about. Most of our missions have gone a little sideways. The odds were in our favor of this being the one that didn't."

"_That_ is faulty logic."

Sam slapped her hand on the table. "Enough! We have to figure out what we're gonna do."

Ronon snorted. "We?"

"Yes, _we_." Jennifer gave Ronon a scowl. "We're in this _together_." Her tone dared him to disagree with her.

The Satedan rolled his eyes and took a huge bite out of a biscuit. "_Not_ what I meant."

John held his knife up. "One for all and all for one." A small glob of butter slid down onto his finger and he licked it off.

"If we're the Musketeers, who does that make _me_…" Sam waved her fork in the air as if it were an épée, "…d'Artagnan?"

"You'd be Athos." John told her. She stopped chewing and he realized how it sounded. "Oh, uh, not because you're the oldest though I'm sure you're not. After all, we have no idea how old Chewy here is." He looked around at the others for assistance, but they had their heads down over their plates, all except Ronon, who seemed to be enjoying his friend's discomfiture. There was no way to mitigate it so he continued. "Doc here would be Porthos and Rodney would be Aramis."

"So who's d'Artagnan?" Sam wanted to know.

"Um, that would be me."

"Exactly _how_ are you d'Artagnan?" Rodney protested. "He came from _humble_ beginnings in Gascogne, France, _not_ from the lap of luxury in southern California."

"At least_ I_ have an idea what the word humble means."

"Huh." Rodney huffed. "It's not _arrogance_ if you can do it and I have _done_ _it_ more times than you can count."

This set off a rowdy argument over which of the team would be which Musketeer. For once, Dusty and Ronon actively participated with the Satedan asking over and over again who the Musketeers were but getting no answer. Finally, he'd had enough.

All conversation came to a halt when a knife hit the table equidistant from Sam, John, Rodney, Dusty and Jennifer, though the object now sticking out of the table could be called a knife the way a naqahdah explosion could be called a flash-bang. They all looked up at him then at each other realizing just how ridiculous their quarrel was and exchanging sheepish grins.

"It _is_ kind of silly, isn't it?" Sam speared the last piece of cheese on her plate and ate it.

"Yeah." Rodney grabbed another slice of bread and slathered butter on it. "We all know that Sam is the SGC's Xena."

* * *

From inside the kitchen, Winifred, Hodge, Horsik, Willow and Anya listened to the disagreement taking place among the strangers.

"What is a Musketeer?" Willow asked.

Horsik, Winifred's husband and the cook, looked out the small space in the wooden shutters between the bar area and the kitchen. "From what they are saying, they must be a legendary band of warriors of which this d'Artagnan is the mightiest of all or they would not be arguing so determinedly."

"I'm not certain what to think of those that have accompanied Lady Samantha. The stories handed down by our ancestors say that she has always arrived alone or with a single companion who perished in the battle with Ashkore. That she would bring so many others with her on this quest tells me that she does not have confidence in her own abilities." Winifred said thoughtfully and with more than a little disquiet.

Hodge moved around trying to see. "What about the ones called McKay and Keller? Neither of them appears to be a great warrior."

"Perhaps that's their secret. People look at them and see only an arrogant little man who is full of himself and a young woman barely old enough to be away from her family. Were I to meet them on the street and not in the company of Lady Samantha and her warriors, I would not feel that they were a threat. However, it has been my experience that such people are the ones to be feared the most _because_ they are not what they seem." Winifred drew them away from the window. "Come. We must prepare for the coming battle. Gabrielle has finished the traditional fighting attire and Galen has nearly completed forging the weapon that will be the instrument of death for Ashkore. The shield will be ready as well. Within two days' time he will trouble us no more."

**Mornings Would Be More Fun**

**If They Started Later**

"How long does it _take_ to change?" Rodney knocked and called through the door. "Come out already."

"_No! I look like…__grrr__! This was __your__ idea, wasn't it, McKay_?" Sam's voice was muffled by the heavy door. She was in the room changing into the clothing provided by Elspeth and the elders made especially for her fight with the dragon.

Rodney crossed his arms in annoyance. "I had _nothing_ to do with whatever you're wearing. _Why_ are you always _blaming_ me?"

"_Experience. It's a great teacher_." They heard her groan just before the lock disengaged and the door swung slowly open. She stepped into the hall and waited for her companion's reactions. "Well?"

John, back in his BDU as were the others, pushed off the wall he'd been lounging against, his eyes wide as he started at Sam's feet and took in the long expanse of her slim toned legs, thigh-high skirt with slits up to just below her navel decorated with metal studs and a bustier that allowed a generous amount of cleavage to peek out the top. The outfit had matching wrist guards and knee-high boots. Everything was in black leather and fit like a second skin. She carried a newly forged sword that gleamed in the sunlight filtering through the windows. With her blonde hair back in a braid, she looked more like the statue in the square than ever. "Uh…you look very…" He wasn't certain how to continue without saying something inappropriate about his commanding officer.

"Fierce?"

"Uh, yes, ma'am. Fierce. That's the word I was looking for. Right, McKay?" Rodney didn't say anything so John slapped him. "_Right_?

"Um, yeah, f-fierce." The physicist's eyes were wide and breathing shallowly.

When John's eyes finally reached hers, he took refuge in military protocol and clasped his hands behind his back, careful not to let his eyes drop below her chin. "We're ready to escort you to the lair of the dragon, Colonel."

"You look great, Sam." Jennifer told her with a smile.

Sam looked to Ronon and Dusty seeing their approval on their faces. When she turned to Rodney, he just stared at her without speaking or blinking. Pursing her lips to hide a grin, she said, "I feel like an idiot, but if it makes McKay speechless it's worth every bit of the time it took me to get into it." She twitched her shoulders making her breasts jiggle where they were barely contained within the bustier. John gulped and Rodney groaned. The men exchanged a look and followed the others down to the first floor. There they accepted food and containers of water that John, Ronon and Dusty added to their backpacks.

* * *

It looked like the entire village had turned out to see the Atlanteans off, the crowd parting for them then gathering close behind once they'd passed. Many more were leaning out windows on the uppers floors around the square. When they reached Elspeth, the older woman gestured for quiet then began a long impassioned speech that ended with "…and we know that you will be again successful in defeating Ashkore, the Flame Eater. Our prayers go with you on your journey, Lady Samantha."

"Thank you. Um…" Sam thought furiously about what to say next but nothing would come. She was saved by Ronon, of all people.

The Satedan took the sword and raised it over his head. "Death to Ashkore!"

Dutifully the crowd responded in kind following it up with cheers. "Death to Ashkore! Death to Ashkore!"

While they chanted, Sam whispered to the Satedan, "Thanks."

"No problem."

The cheering continued while Sam looked uncomfortable with all the attention. She reclaimed the sword and headed out of town with the others following close behind. They'd been given a map and she'd easily committed it to memory as well as having Rodney scan it into his computer. In one corner there was a drawing of a mountain range and a huge, scary-looking dragon that seemed to dwarf even the tallest of the buildings within the village. Rodney had translated the writing below it as "Here Abides Dragon."

"Stop!" The Atlanteans turned as one at Elspeth's shout. "Your companions cannot go with you on this quest."

"Excuse me?" Sam came to stand in front of the chief elder.

"In the past, any that accompanied you has perished. You must confront the Flame Eater on your own. It is your destiny."

"My _destiny_?" Now she was more than a little angry causing Elspeth to take a half-step back at the look on her face. "Now _look_…" John came up next to her. Their eyes met and it seemed to calm her. She took a deep breath when he nodded confidently. She faced the elder again. "Am I _not_ the past, present and future savior of Fritheswithe?" One hand was on her hip and the other holding the hilt of the sword with the point resting on the ground, feet shoulder width apart. She didn't know it, but she looked very heroic.

"Of course, Lady."

"Then how _dare_ you say that I cannot have the company of my friends for this quest! I should leave you to fight Ashkore on your own and perhaps next time I won't be so quick to return when I'm needed." Sam made an about face and the team from Atlantis made their way out of town.

* * *

"You know, it didn't look this far on the map." Rodney complained as they made their way through a wooded area that began an hour after they left the last of the farms surrounding Fritheswithe. "I wonder how big this dragon is anyway. What if its, you know, the size of the Thunderbird Sports Centre? How in God's name are you gonna kill it?"

"She has _help_." Ronon's deep voice rumbled through the forest.

"Well, that should make _you_ happy, Conon. You'll get to kill something besides a Wraith."

Sam tugged at her costume because it was starting to pinch under her arms, adjusted the straps of her backpack and took her bad humor out on Rodney. "Will you just _shut up_, McKay and figure out how to kill a fire-breathing dragon."

"I just asked _you_ that." Rodney stopped what he was doing, staring at her in puzzlement. "How do you know it breaths fire?"

A snort came from his right and he looked at Jennifer for the first time since they'd left the village, actually, it was the first time since they'd gotten up this morning. "I don't think it's called Ashkore, the Flame Eater because it has _bad breath_. If that were true, all we'd need is a ton of Tic-Tacs."

"Oh, right." He tapped a few keys on the computer to change screens from the map to another application but stopped with his hand poised in the air. "Wait! Why do _I _always have to save our butts?"

John dropped back next to the physicist. "Because you're so _good_ at it, Rodney."

"True. I'll see what I can come up with."

Sam sent Ronon and Dusty to the Stargate to give Atlantis a SitRep and advise them that they'd be on radio silence for at least the next forty-eight hours but to wait at least seventy-two before they sent SAR.

* * *

It was nearly dark when the team neared the cave professed to be the lair of the dragon. Ronon and Dusty had caught up with them just fifteen minutes before. Taking refuge behind a fallen tree that would have put a redwood to shame, it was decided that they'd rest for the night and get a fresh start in the morning. A double guard was posted on rotating shifts of two hours each starting with John and Dusty.

In searching their provisions, Jennifer determined that one of the containers held more of the tea they'd been given the first night and promptly dumped it out. They had a meal of sandwiches made from slices of meat and bread with fresh fruit for dessert then talked strategy for a while though it was difficult to make firm plans without knowing exactly what they were going up against.

Ronon gave Sam a few lessons in fighting with a long-sword with the others cheering her on then settled down for the night.

* * *

In the morning, they stowed the leftover food in the lower branches of a tree by having Dusty stand on Ronon's shoulders. She dismounted with an impressive flip to land flatfooted, knees bent and arms to the side. John complimented her with "Definitely a ten, Sarge" as he handed over her weapon.

She smiled and popped her gum. "Thank you, sir."

Ronon did a check of the cave's exterior and entrance with strict orders not to go inside. He returned to let them know that he could smell burning wood but heard no noises coming from inside aside from dripping water and the wind.

As they approached the cave, Jennifer moved up alongside Sam. "Sure you don't want us to do this for you? And by _us_ I mean John, Ronon and Dusty."

Sam dispelled the doctor's concern with a smile. "It's good. I'm just glad I kept up my workouts." She was carrying the shield while Ronon carried the sword. "This and the sword together weigh a _ton_. And why give me a shield when the sword requires two hands to wield?"

Jennifer shrugged and gave her arm a quick squeeze. "I'm sure you'll do great. Maybe they'll let you keep 'em as a souvenir."

"Maybe." Her eyes betrayed her unease, but only for Jennifer to see. She lowered her voice. "I'm just glad I have back-up."

* * *

Outside the cave, Sam gave the order to hide and watch, just in case the dragon came out. After thirty minutes of nothing, she nodded and they made a stealthy approach to the entrance. Rodney took scans detecting no life signs except for the team.

Ronon and John insisted on being at her side as they entered what looked like your standard everyday cave. They flicked on the lights mounted on their P-90s and flashed them around. The ceiling was approximately four meters over their heads with rock all around. Rocks lay all over and varied from fist to VW in size. Years of wear had left thick piles of dirt and dust everywhere. Rodney stifled several sneezes before Jennifer handed him two of his allergy meds. He took them gratefully and smiling for the first time that day.

* * *

Rodney was embarrassed about what happened between them though neither was at fault. Jennifer had taken a sample of the tea they'd been given so she could analyze it when they returned home. She wouldn't say what she was thinking about the properties of the tea and that had irritated him to the point that they'd argued a second time.

The first night, they'd spooned and gone right to sleep. After their argument, the next night, Jennifer had stayed as far from him as she could and still be in the bed and he'd done the same. However, when they awakened in the morning, they were spooning again.

* * *

Farther in, the ceiling began to slant upwards until they came to a gigantic cavern with stalagmites and stalactites as well as the inevitable boulders, dirt and dust. The air became damp and they could hear the drip, drip, drip of water. Luminescent algae on the walls, roof, stalagmites and stalactites brightened the room enough that they turned off their lights. On the far side they could see another much larger opening. Beside it they could see and smell a fire burning. With great care they crossed to the fire and stood there looking at it mystified by its presence. A pot was over the fire, the contents just beginning to bubble.

"What's going on here?" Sam asked. But before anyone could respond, a mighty roar came from behind them. They turned and looked up…and up and up. The first one to speak was Rodney, his face slack with fear.

"We're gonna need a bigger boat."

**TBC**


	5. Dead Dragons Tell No Tails

**A/N:** This story is a birthday gift for my good friend and brainstorming buddy, LoneRanger1.

Many thanks to ladygris, Shadows-of-Realm, dwparsnip and DaniWilder for their assistance with brainstorming and Beta-ing.

_Feliz Cumpleaños, mi amigo!_

Sandy

**Never Tickle a Sleeping Dragon**

**Chapter 5**

**Dead Dragons Tell no Tails**

Rodney's mouth went completely dry as he looked up at the biggest dragon he'd ever seen. Not that he'd seen any in person, but he imagined it had to be the biggest ever, filling the cavern from top to bottom, its long pointed ears nearly brushing the roof. The sharp scent of fear reached his nose and two slender arms wound their way around his waist. He looped an arm around Jennifer and pulled her even closer, all without taking his eyes off the dragon.

The creature had a head the size of a Jumper, a long serpentine body with a pointed tail that curved up behind its back. Its powerful hind legs ended in sharp claws as did the shorter arms that jutted out from its massive shoulders. Leathery wings fluttered slightly as if in a breeze. Unfurled, they would have a wingspan more than equal to that of the width of bridge on the _Daedalus_. Aside from the wings, the entire body was covered with scales in dull shades of red, yellow and green.

The black slanted eyes stared down at them and its mouth was slightly open showing an impressive array of cutlery. Wisps of smoke drifted out of its nostrils with every harsh breath.

"John."

"Yeah?" The Colonel was looking up, too.

"R-Remember what you said about us not running for our lives again?"

"Yeah."

"We'd like to do that now."

* * *

John finally took his eyes off the creature long enough to look over his shoulder at the opening behind them. It was small enough to keep the dragon from following though they'd have to be fast if they wanted to get far enough away that the fire plume wouldn't catch up to them. Casting glances left and right, he could see that Rodney and Jennifer were nearly motionless with fear while Sam, Ronon and Dusty just stared at it.

_Something's not right_, he thought as he surveyed the arched exit through which they'd come then took two cautious steps back. He stuck his head through the opening at their back. The cave beyond was even smaller that the first one they'd entered and had openings and passageways branching off of it. Looking back at the dragon then at the cave openings once more, his forehead crinkled in thought.

"Sir!" Dusty shouted.

Facing the dragon again, he watched it take a great inhalation and open its mouth wide. It was what happened in every fire-breathing dragon movie he'd ever seen just before it belched flames and burned everything to a crisp.

Jennifer whimpered and buried her head in Rodney's chest, both of the physicist's arms holding her tight as he turned his back on the dragon using his own body to protect her. Sam lifted the shield, Ronon raised the sword and Dusty stood her ground, her P-90 aimed at its head.

"Wait!" John yelled. "It's not…"

As it exhaled, bright orange-red flames shot straight for them widening the farther they got from the maw of the creature then abruptly…stopped. The dragon also ceased all movement as if a pause button had been pressed.

When they weren't burned to a crisp, Jennifer lifted her head from Rodney's chest, he loosened his hold and they faced front again, keeping their arms around each other. Sam lowered the shield and took a step forward. Her eyes searched the cavern as if an explanation could be found in its walls.

The team turned as one when a voice spoke from behind them. "Forgive me. I did not mean to leave it active."

Standing within the arch was a figure covered head to foot with a cloak made of a material that seemed to be rough and smooth at the same time. The hood was pulled low over the face and a hand was extended in the direction of the dragon, a small device nestled within the palm. The thumb pressed the device and the dragon disappeared, faded away as if it were made of smoke…or light.

"Hologram!" Rodney barked at the stranger almost accusingly. "It's a _hologram_."

"That's what _I_ was gonna say." John complained, annoyed that Rodney said it first.

"Yes, it is. I'm sorry if it frightened you." The voice was female, old and rusty from lack of use. She tucked a remote into the pocket of her cloak and turned back the edge of the hood though her face stayed in shadow.

Sam took a step forward, skipping the dangerously sweet smile and going straight to the fourth level death glare. "What the hell _was _that?" She hooked a thumb over her shoulder.

A small chuckle reached them from inside the hood. "I suppose you could call it a pet, something to keep me company in the long nights alone." She gestured and the Atlanteans followed her through the arched opening, down a long passage and right into another cave that was darkened until she passed a hand over a sensor set into the cave wall. The room was fairly large, roughly twice the size of a boxing ring.

"Please, sit down. I will make us something to drink and we can become acquainted." She gestured to a sofa pushed up against one wall. A chair sat at right angles to it with a small table in front of both. A cushioned mat covered the middle of the room. Other than the few pieces of furniture, a cabinet and a small bookshelf filled with what looked like very thin CD cases, the room was bare. Except that there was no bed and the walls were made of rock, it could have been a large efficiency apartment.

She moved into the far corner, removed the cloak and hung it on a hook. Underneath, her white hair was in a thick braid that reached to the backs of her knees. She wore black pants, a dark blue long sleeved top that was cinched at her waist with a brown belt and knee-high boots. Probably purchased from Fritheswithe.

Her back still to them, she moved over to a small stove-like appliance, filled a kettle with water from the sink to the right and set it on the flat surface. Passing her hand over the front activated the heating component. Only then did she turn to greet her guests.

Her face and hands were lined and wrinkled with advanced age though the eyes that looked out at them with curiosity and undisguised interest were still a bright blue. She opened a cupboard above the stove filled with mismatched dishes and John hurried to her side. "Allow me, Ma'am."

"Of course."

He set seven cups on the tray she provided and carried them to a low table in the middle of the room.

The kettle whistled and she removed it from the heat. Opening a container that was on a shelf above the stove, she dumped a generous scoop of tiny dark green leaves into the water and swirled it around. "May I know your names?"

Beginning on her right, Sam made the introductions. "Ronon Dex, Sergeant Dusty Mehra, Dr. Rodney McKay, Dr. Jennifer Keller…" she gestured at John who was still standing, "…Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard."

The woman nodded a greeting to each in turn, a smile turning up the corners of her mouth as she passed cups of tea to Ronon and Dusty then Rodney and Jennifer.

"And I'm Colonel Samantha Carter."

"I'm pleased to meet all of you. Are you hungry? I have stew cooking over a fire in the cavern. There's plenty for all."

Sam shot a glare at Rodney before he could say anything and he glared back before dropping his eyes as the woman gave John and Sam their cups.

The Atlanteans stared at their tea with suspicion. The older woman noticed and smiled. "It is not a stimulant. It merely has a pleasant taste."

Sam took a tentative sip. "Um, you haven't told us _your_ name."

As the woman removed her belt and set it aside, the sleeve of her shirt pulled up above her right wrist to show a blue design etched onto her skin. Jennifer gasped then tried to cover it with a cough.

With a grin, their host took the last cup from the tray and sipped. "I believe that Dr. Keller has figured it out." She paused for another sip and set her cup aside. "My name is Samira."

**The Tavern in ****Fritheswithe**

"How long have they been gone?" Horsik asked Elspeth. She and the elders had gathered at the tavern to await the return of Lady Samantha and her companions.

"A full day and a half. According to legend, the longest Lady Samira has taken to complete her quest was three days and nights. It is not yet time to begin worrying about their fate."

Winifred smiled. "You do not fool anyone, my sister. You are more troubled than any of us. Perhaps it's time for another prayer for their safe return."

"You're right, my sister." They clasped their hands in a circle around the table and bowed their heads. "Creator of All Things, we pray this day that you watch over the Lady Samantha, and her people. Deliver them safely from the lair of Ashkore, the Flame Eater…"

**Meanwhile, Back at the Lair…**

John leaned his shoulders against the wall of Samira's home, arms and ankles crossed. Ronon was standing next to him having given up his seat for their host. The sword was propped against the wall beside him as he watched her warily.

Setting her cup on the edge of the table, she leaned back and crossed her knees. Her eyes seemed to be looking at something no one else could see, something from the distant past. "I was once a member of a technologically advanced society that used to inhabit this world. Hundreds of years ago, we thought we'd found a way to slow down the aging process. It wasn't until several years after the drug had been given to any who wished to take it that we discovered that it had detrimental effects on the majority of the population beginning with the ability to bear children." She sighed. "An individual would be perfectly healthy one day and sick the next. Three days later, they were dead.

"The researchers were the first to take the drug and the first to perish. Other doctors tried to create a cure but it was futile. Over the space of just a few years the population was quickly reduced to a fraction of its former numbers."

Jennifer leaned forward listening intently to the story that Samira was telling. "What happened to the rest of your people?" That wasn't what she'd wanted to ask, but decided to save the multitude of questions for much later. If they earned her trust, maybe she could be persuaded to share the researcher's medical files.

"Those that remained eventually began to die a natural death after living greatly extended lifespans. Some went through the Ring of the Ancestors and never returned. Still others just…gave up, choosing to end their lives prematurely." Getting slowly to her feet, Samira paced over to the sink and rested her hands on the edge. "To my knowledge, I am the only remaining member of my race."

She didn't see Sam exchange a glance with Ronon. "Do you mind telling us how old you are?"

Samira picked up the kettle and refilled everyone's cups. "I do not mind. It has been so long since I've thought about it…" Her eyes looked inward as she made mental calculations. "As of the beginning of the planting season for the farmers of Fritheswithe, I am three-hundred and seventy-six years old."

* * *

The corners of Samira's mouth turned up when Jennifer, Rodney and Sam inhaled sharply. John and Ronon shared a glance but didn't say anything. Dusty blew a bubble and sucked it back in.

Returning to her chair, Samira picked up her cup. "I see the looks of disbelief on your faces, but it's true. Dr. Keller will tell you I'm being truthful."

"Wait." Rodney couldn't take not being a part of the conversation any longer. "How do you know _I'm_ not the medical doctor?"

For the first time since they met, their host actually laughed. "My dear Dr. McKay, I may be old but I still have the use of my observational and cognitive faculties. All while I was telling the sad tale of my people, only the young doctor watched and listened raptly. You, on the other hand, appeared more interested in the devices in this room. You only became attentive when I mentioned our technology."

Rodney looked like he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't, like peeping in someone's window at night. "But I didn't…that is, well, you see…what I mean is…" Jennifer put her hand on his arm. He stopped talking and sighed. "Sorry."

"Don't be. Actually, I would be grateful if you are able to take with you the knowledge of my people. Despite our faults, we were, for the most part, a good people and I would like to go to join the Ancestors knowing that someone somewhere remembered us."

Rodney's eyes lit up at the chance to examine new technology. "Thank you. I'd be honored." He looked quickly to his left when Jennifer took him by the hand and gave him a smile. "Um, Samira, what about…"

Their host looked up sharply. It had been the first time anyone had used her name in many, many years and it sounded odd to hear it spoken out loud. "…the equipment that remains? I would also like for you to take as much with you as you are able."

"I, uh…um, okay."

Sam shifted in her seat. The leather clothing she was wearing was starting to irritate her skin. Not to mention she was the only one of their people who was not in uniform. "What about the people in the village?"

"Many years ago, a group of my people began exploring other worlds through the Ring of the Ancestors. Many times they arrived just in time for a Wraith attack and were able to escape with a small number of the residents. This happened over and over until we had to find somewhere other than the caves for them to live. We built the village near the only city that was still standing.

"To prevent them from injuring themselves, we built a structure around it. They were simple people and we allowed them to assume that a mighty ruler lived within its walls so that they would not attempt to enter. We were afraid that they would eventually learn how to use the technology there and come to the same fate as we."

"What we don't understand is the dragon."

Samira stood and went to another cabinet and took down a container which she opened and passed around. Cookies. They each took one and nibbled while she continued to talk.

"That is quite easy to explain. When they first arrived, a series of tremors occurred due to an active volcano located on the other side of the mountain range. After an especially strong tremor, a prehistoric creature that had been entombed within the mountain was released. The creature was killed by myself and several others however the villagers seemed to think that I had acted on my own. They have since worshiped me as their savior. At first I attempted to refute the assertion but they refused to listen, even going so far as erecting that embarrassing statue in the main square. The tremors only come every fifty years or so, but because they believe they signal the return of the creature, I have been forced on several occasions to 'kill' it."

John and Ronon were now sitting on the floor. "But why didn't you just tell them there isn't one?"

"I tried, but a group armed themselves with their primitive weapons and informed me of their intent to destroy the creature. I was once again forced to intervene. Because I had been wearing…" Samira nodded to indicate Sam's clothing, "…they thought it traditional battle dress. As I did not want to insult them by refusing their gifts of the sword and clothing, I used them. One of my friends created the hologram you encountered. After making certain that I was observed in 'battle', I would 'kill' the dragon.

"Eventually, they became curious about what lay within the walls of the fortified structure. It was decided that the 'ruler' who lived within would perish after the dragon destroyed a portion of the walls and turrets. They were then advised that the structure was unsafe and strongly warned against entering. As they believed that I was a goddess and their savior, they heeded my words and have not attempted to venture inside for quite some time."

* * *

Sam kept her soldier face on though John could see how relieved she was that she wouldn't have to slay a real dragon. "I'm gonna get out of this and back into my uniform." She gestured at the skirt and pushed to her feet. Taking up her backpack, she hooked it over her shoulder. "Where can I change?"

Samira had come to her feet when Sam did and John didn't like the look in the older woman's eyes. "No! You must complete your quest to kill Ashkore."

Sam shook her head. "But it's a _hologram._ Not to mention I know next to nothing about fighting with a long-sword. We'll just go back to the village and tell them he's dead, killed by a cave-in or something."

The blue eyes that had been kind and benevolent were no longer. "You cannot."

"I don't understand _why_. If they think of you, me, whatever, as a goddess and savior, why wouldn't they just take my word for it?" Sam had her hands on her hips, feet shoulder width apart, ready to fight. Samira had come to stand directly in front of her. As they were of equal height, the women were able to easily lock eyes.

John watched warily from his place on the floor. He nodded once when Ronon tapped him on the leg. Both men adjusted their feet preparing to come to Sam's aide should she need it. Across the room they watched Dusty take the gum from her mouth, wrap it in a piece of silver-backed paper, place it in a pocket of her TAC vest then open a new piece and shove it in her mouth. They didn't know her well, but that mannerism had already become familiar. It was her way of preparing for battle.

Samira finally turned away from Sam's intense gaze and walked to the far side of the room, Sam's voice following her. "_Why_ do I have to fight this thing?" Still the older woman did not respond frustrating the Air Force officer. The frustration turned to concern when Samira moaned and sagged against the counter.

"Samira!" Jennifer jumped up and went to her side. "Please, let me have a look at you."

Shaking her head, Samira whispered, "If Samantha will not fight Ashkore, then I must."

"No. You're up to it. Come sit down." Jennifer put a hand on her shoulder and the next few seconds happened with incredible speed.

Samira touched a place on the wall in front of her that looked just like the rest of the wall. A panel a little more than a meter long slid out of sight and her hand reached inside to wrap around the hilt of a sword much like the one that had been given to Sam. Quick as lightening, she spun around to grab the front of Jennifer's vest and slam her against the wall, the sword held across her throat.

**TBC**


	6. Dragon the Line

**A/N:** This story is a birthday gift for my good friend and brainstorming buddy, LoneRanger1.

When writing fight scenes, Ranger usually helps by Beta-ing. Since doing so in this instance would have completely FUBAR'd the surprise factor, I did most of it on my own with input from those mentioned below…and frequent use of YouTube.

Many thanks to ladygris, Shadows-of-Realm, dwparsnip and DaniWilder for their assistance with brainstorming and Beta-ing.

_Feliz Cumpleaños, mi amigo!_

Sandy

**Never Tickle a Sleeping Dragon**

**Chapter 6**

**Dragon the Line**

The team from Atlantis came quickly to their feet. It was painfully obvious that Samira had faked weakness in order to bring the one who seemed to be the most helpless within her grasp.

"Jennifer!" Rodney took a step forward but stopped when Sam signaled that they should all remain in place.

John's thumb caressed the safety of his Glock as if he couldn't wait to take control of the situation by simply shooting Samira. Ronon's energy pistol was out and whining as it powered up, no doubt thinking the same thing. Dusty brought her P-90 up but thought better of it. Using it within the confines of the room would be just as dangerous for them as Samira.

"Whatever you're thinking of doing, Samira, _don't_. We _won't_ let you hurt our friend." Sam's voice had dropped into a dangerous register. "Let Jennifer go. Now!"

"As you wish." The older woman, her hand still gripping Jennifer's vest, swung her around and shoved her toward John and Ronon. It threw the men off balance as they tried to prevent the medical doctor from being injured. Regaining feet, John turned to help Sam.

"No, John! This is _my_ fight." Sam ordered as she circled to the left drawing Samira away from the others.

* * *

More deftly than any of them thought, Samira swung the sword one-handed down and around in a fast figure eight, the blade whooshing through the air as she approached Sam. It was a maneuver meant to show off her skill with the weapon and it did. She grasped the sword's grip in both hands above the pommel, holding it up in front of her at a forty-five degree angle. Stepping forward, she swung the weapon around and across as if to decapitate Sam who easily sidestepped the strike.

Now Sam was on the opposite side of the room near the stove, but saw nothing save the kettle she could use as a weapon. She had to get to her own weapon which was across the room. Moving in that direction, she purposely glanced away to give Samira a chance to attack and wasn't disappointed. Samira again swung, this time going for a gut shot. Sam ducked under the blade and rolled to within two meters of her own weapon, coming up on one knee with her right arm extended. Ronon tossed the sword and she caught it. She grasped the hilt with both hands and brought it up over her head to deflect a downward strike.

Samira was impressed giving Sam a lift of one eyebrow in admiration. Sam surged to her feet swinging the sword around and across her chest to impact with Samira's. Their weapons scraped along each other as Sam shoved Samira up against the wall hard enough to elicit a grunt that was part anger, part pain. With a growl, Samira pushed away, turned and slammed Sam against the wall then backpedaled and brought her sword up over her head and down just as Sam ducked out of the way. The pommel of the other woman's weapon cracked the mirror hanging on the wall. Sam balanced on her left leg, turning her hip over and planting her right foot in Samira's stomach. She stumbled backward but didn't fall. Sam surged forward and the women swung and hit, their weapons clashing and clanging against each other.

* * *

It burned inside John not to interfere. He knew Sam, knew what she was capable of. He trusted her to win, but that didn't stop him from wanting to go to the aid of a colleague or the streak of chivalry instilled in him by his mother from demanding attention. It reared up and he took a step forward just as they crashed against the sink.

Ronon grabbed his arm. "_Her_ fight," he reminded him.

John didn't like it though he nodded in agreement. A quick glance to the right told John that Jennifer had moved back to Rodney's side touching him on the arm. With a nod she told him she wasn't hurt and the physicist sagged in relief.

* * *

Dusty worked her gum furiously. The Marine set her P-90 aside and dropped her right hand to the hilt of her KA-BAR unsnapping the safety strap. If this fight went against her commanding officer, she was ready to step in and assist, regardless of orders to the contrary. She was a Marine, but in the short time she'd been on Atlantis, she'd come to respect Sam and would fight to the death _with_ and _for_ her.

* * *

Sam and Samira grappled in close quarters, their weapons between them, neither willing to give an inch. Unexpectedly, Samira stumbled and Sam took advantage by pushing her back. However, Samira regained her footing quickly.

With a growl, Samira surged forward and pushed Sam back proving again that she was stronger than she appeared. She swung at the same time Sam did, and Sam used her superior strength to push Samira's weapon down.

Dusty grabbed Rodney and Jennifer and pulled them out of the way just as the combined forces of both weapons crashed through the table top crushing it to bits.

If the Sergeant hadn't been on the ball, one or both of the civilians would have been injured. As it was, they were already panting from the increase in adrenaline coursing through their bodies telling them to fight or run though they could do neither. Jennifer grabbed the front of Rodney's TAC vest and he gathered her close. Her brown eyes were filled with worry and he tried his best to comfort her while at the same time taking comfort from her.

John saw and filed that info away for more detailed examination when time permitted and turned back to the fight.

* * *

_This is taking too long!_ Sam thought. She was beginning to tire and could see that Samira was as well. The commander of Atlantis was quite impressed with the strength and agility of the older woman. She would never have thought her capable of continuing the fight this long. At the moment the two women were stalking each other around the room looking for an opening or a sign of weakness to exploit. They panted hard from their exertions, sweat trickling down their faces and soaking their clothes. Blue eyes stayed locked on blue eyes as they circled first one way then the other.

Sam let the tip of her sword dip slightly as if she were too fatigued to hold it up any longer and the ploy worked. Samira stepped forward, putting her weight behind another overhead strike, but Sam was ready. She flipped her sword so that she was now holding the tip in one hand and the tang in the other raising it over her head to deflect Samira's sword to the left. Sam held the blade in one hand and hooked the guard around the other woman's knee as her left hand made a palm strike to her solar plexus. It pushed the air from Samira's lungs, knocking her onto her back.

Sam dropped down on top of her, the sword against pressed to Samira's throat. "Give me a reason _not_ to kill you!"

Samira released her weapon and Dusty kicked it away. Then, to everyone's surprise, Samira smiled. "You have proven yourself the superior fighter as I intended. Killing me would serve no purpose."

Sam removed the blade from her throat as John came forward to take it. He handed it to Ronon then helped the women to stand. Samira rubbed her throat as she eased herself down on the sofa sidestepping the splintered remains of the table.

Jennifer hurried to Sam's side but the doctor was waved away. Sam wanted answers. "Why?"

"Why did I engage you in battle using a weapon about which you have said you know very little?" Samira smiled at Jennifer as the doctor gave her a quick exam.

"Yeah." Sam let herself down into the chair gratefully accepting a glass of water from John while Rodney gave one to Samira.

"To prove that you are more capable than you believe. If he were real, you would be quite able to engage Ashkore, the Flame Eater in a battle to the death." She pushed at the hairs that had stuck to the perspiration on her face. "For hundreds of years, the people of the village have believed that someone was watching over them, keeping them safe. And indeed I was, but now _you_ must take my place as I can no longer perform that function. They _must_ see you kill him or they will not believe he is dead."

**At the Blacksmith's Shop**

Galen finished carving the last of the stone molds he would need for the project that Elspeth had requested. That done, he set about filling the vat over the fire with chunks of metal. Once it was heated to the melting point, it would be poured into the molds. After it cooled completely, the resulting shapes would be removed from the mold, set in place and painted.

"Galen?" Elspeth called to the blacksmith and he went outside to speak to her. No one was permitted in the work area due to the danger.

"Elspeth, is there any word?"

"Not as yet." They both looked toward the setting sun. "It will be dark before long and the end of the second day comes in the morning. If Lady Samantha and her companions have not returned by midafternoon tomorrow, we must organize a hunting party to track Ashkore to his lair and slay him ourselves."

"I will join them."

The chief elder gave the younger man a smile. "Of course. That's why…"

"Elspeth!"

She and Galen turned to see Hodge running toward them. "What is it, my child?"

The teenage boy took in gulps of air trying to calm his panting so he could speak. "It's Ashkore! He approaches from the mountains. Lady Samantha and her companions are battling him now."

Hurrying to the edge of town, Elspeth, Galen and Hodge joined most of the village who'd already gathered on the hillside that looked toward the mountains. In the distance they could see the dragon fighting something, several somethings, on the ground. The children clung to their parents whimpering in fear.

Even as the daylight began to fade, they could just make out Sam, Ronon, John and Dusty engaging a red, yellow and green dragon. He waved his arms in the air as he swiped at his attackers with his foreclaws. The massive tail swept around knocking all but Sam to the ground where they lay stunned, unconscious….or dead, they couldn't tell.

Sam raised her sword and charged. The villagers couldn't hear the sounds of fighting save for the dragon's roar, but all imagined that she had shouted a battle cry. Sam was small compared to Ashkore, but that was to her advantage. She attacked and retreated, using the shield for protection when fire rained down on her.

Suddenly, Ashkore took to the air flying around and around swooping low trying to knock Sam off her feet or grab her with his mighty claws, no one was certain which. Then, apparently tiring of the game, he banked around in a circle and headed for the village.

When her people turned to run, Elspeth ordered them to stay. "Lady Samantha will prevail. If we run and hide, she will think that we don't trust her to protect us and may not return the next time she is needed."

* * *

Jabbing her sword into the hard-packed earth, Sam took the curved shield in both hands holding it parallel to the ground. She spun twice and threw it like a discus. The shield, shaped like a giant Frisbee, sailed through the air to hit Ashkore on the back of the head. He banked around and came for her again, claws digging in to stop his forward motion when she moved out of his path at the last second.

The enormous head lowered to attempt to grab her with his mouth, but she hit him repeatedly on the nose with her sword. He howled in pain and fury, once again swinging his tail and knocking her to the ground.

While she lay there stunned, Ashkore picked her up in one claw, bringing her toward that enormous mouth filled with long, sharp teeth. When she was close enough to smell the acrid odor of his breath, she took the sword in both hands and shoved it through the roof of his mouth and into his brain. Giving it several twists, she saw the light in his eyes begin to fade. Again he howled in pain, but this time it was different. This time it signaled the beginning of the end of his life.

Ashkore dropped Sam, but she'd been prepared and hit the ground rolling. Her sword was still protruding between his jaws as his claws tried unsuccessfully to remove the instrument of his death. With a final long, drawn out groan, he collapsed and was still, blood pouring out and soaking into the ground.

Sam got to her feet as she was joined by a disheveled John, Ronon and Dusty. Together they walked to the dead creature's head. She put her foot on his muzzled, grasped the hilt of the sword and pulled it out.

Moments later, the real Sam, John, Ronon and Dusty came out of hiding to take the places of their holographic counterparts. They'd already rolled in the dirt and grass to give the appearance of having engaged in a great fight.

John clicked his radio. "Sheppard to McKay."

"_McKay_."

"It's done. Now all we have to do is make sure they've seen the body."

"_Got it. Between our combined technologies and my genius, the villagers __will__ believe. In lieu of applause, I will accept gifts of food and cash. No checks, please._" As always, his smugness and arrogance came through loud and clear. "And remember _d__raco dormiens nunquam titilandus_."

"Excuse me?"

"Never tickle a sleeping dragon," Dusty supplied. When the others gave her startled looks, she said, "What? Just 'cause I'm a Marine doesn't mean I can't know stuff."

John conceded the point. "Funny, McKay. You and the Doc get out here so we can head back to town." John signed off and faced Sam with a grin. "Well, boss, now you can add 'dragonslayer' to your extensive résumé."

* * *

Sam led the way to the town square amid applause and cheers from the villagers. She bore the adoration with a smile, but only those that knew her well could tell she was uncomfortable with the attention. Finally, it all died down as they watched and waited for her to speak.

John leaned close, whispering in her ear. "_Say_ something."

"Like what?"

He shrugged. "Doesn't matter."

Sam looked down at the sword she still carried in her right hand, watching the last of the sun's rays gleam off its surface and raised it over her head in triumph. "One for all…

Rodney, John, Ronon, Dusty and Jennifer reached up to hold the hilt of the sword as well, "…and all for one!"

**TBC**


	7. Heroes and Orgasms

**A/N:** **Coffee Alert!**

This is a birthday gift for my good friend and brainstorming buddy, LoneRanger1.

FYI – Once again this sneaky writer has gotten the birthday boy to help with his gift. Am I good or what?

Many thanks to ladygris, Shadows-of-Realm, dwparsnip and DaniWilder for their assistance with brainstorming and Beta-ing.

_Feliz Cumpleaños, mi amigo!_

Sandy

**Never Tickle a Sleeping Dragon **

**Chapter 7**

**Heroes and Orgasms**

**When the Moon Howls**

It was full dark, had been for a while. The team had long since contacted Atlantis to let them know all was well and they'd be staying one more night.

Sam had changed back into her uniform before the celebration in honor of the death of Ashkore. Now the party was over and the team had been left alone in the tavern. They each had a tankard of beer only this time Sam was actually drinking hers instead of giving it to one of the others. She still didn't like it but was too tired to care at this point. Jennifer and Rodney sipped from theirs then switched with Ronon and Dusty when Horsik and Winifred were out of the room.

She reached for more of the berries that Winifred had brought for dessert. They looked like blackberries but were on stems like grapes and tasted like a cross between pomegranates and watermelon.

When she was caught covering a yawn, she gave her people a sheepish smile and dropped her feet to the floor. They stood when she did. "Let's get some rest. We'll go back to Samira's after breakfast and make arrangements to transport the equipment she's turning over to us."

"What about sleeping?" Rodney didn't bother to cover his yawn as they followed their leader up the stairs.

"Same as before."

John stopped in the middle of the hall, a little nervous about sleeping in the same bed with his CO again though they'd already done so twice. "Two hour shifts. Me, Ronon, McKay and Mehra. And make sure you lock the doors, just in case."

"What about me?" Sam yawned again.

"After a day of sword fighting and dragonslaying, you deserve a good night's sleep, Colonel." One side of his mouth lifted. "That's an order, by the way." His companions looked doubtful forcing him to add, "If you're worried about nighttime visitors again, shove a chair under the doorknob and sleep with a weapon in your hand." John was more than a little annoyed with Rodney and his constant complaining. He went to the door at the end of the hall and shoved it open. "In!"

"But…" Rodney stopped his protest when Jennifer took him by the hand.

"Just _drop_ it, Rodney, and come on. I'm about to fall asleep on my feet." Sam, John, Ronon and Dusty just stared when the physicist meekly allowed Jennifer to lead him into the room. "Night."

John and Sam shared a small grin then chuckled when the third door slammed behind Ronon and Dusty. She nodded, yawned and went into her room.

* * *

Just as he did on that first night, John paced the length of the hall several times, pausing at the top of the stairs to listen for movement below. Unlike the previous time, all was quiet. He thought about checking the place out, but decided against it. Sitting on the top step, he thought about all that had happened over the last few days and chuckled to himself. This report would be one of the oddest he'd ever written. He began composing it in his head, but when he got to the point where Sam had come out of their room dress like Xena, well, that was _all_ he could think about.

And the more he thought about it, the more his body reacted to the visual his mind presented. He attempted to moderate those effects by thinking of puppies frolicking in the snow, being caught in a blizzard, stranded on an ice raft with Yukon Cornelius or even being plunged into ice cold water with no time to prepare. Not even picturing his grandmother in a bikini helped because each time he tried it, Grams morphed into Sam.

_I need another beer._

John made his way down to the first floor as quietly as possible. He laid his weapon on the bar, filled a tankard half full, drank it down and waited ten minutes. No change. He repeated the process with the same results. With a shrug and a long heartfelt sigh, almost a groan, he carried the mug to the kitchen and set it in the sink.

Back on the second floor, he continued to pace the length of the hall and kept reminding himself that his superior officer should _not_ be the center of his sexual fantasies. He respected her more than any other CO he'd ever served under, including General O'Neill, and winced at what she would say or do if she knew he'd been picturing her naked, covered in nothing but perspiration as he let her have her way with him...or the other way around.

He paused when he got to Ronon's door, cocking his head to the side. There'd been a sound. Not much, but enough to get his attention. When he realized what it was, he moved to the other end of the hall and tried to ignore it. That proved futile as it increased in volume though he was certain he could only hear it because he was awake. With nothing to distract him but his own thoughts, which didn't help at all, he wished with everything he had that they were back on Atlantis and he was enclosed within the soundproof walls of his quarters. He heard one last long, high-pitched gasp then all was quiet again…for about five minutes.

* * *

It was almost time for Chewy to take over. John waited impatiently for the big man to make an appearance and at exactly the two-hour mark, Ronon emerged from his room. He was still in the nightshirt instead of his usual attire, but didn't seem to care. The changing of the guard took place without them exchanging even a glance.

Once in the room, John changed into the nightshirt, again leaving his boxers on underneath. Very briefly he considered taking steps to ease his discomfort but didn't want to be engaged in that particular activity if Sam woke up. He'd never be able to look her in the face again. As he listened to the shallow rhythmic sounds of her breathing, he doubted she'd even hear a C-4 explosion unless it was right here in the room but still didn't want to take the chance. Rolling onto his side facing the opposite direction, he closed his eyes and willed himself to sleep.

* * *

Ronon paced the length of the hall several times then stopped to lean his back against the wall beside the door of his room. The nightshirt he still wore stopped above his knees and he was naked underneath but the slight chill didn't bother him. Moving to the top of the stairs, he listened for movement and heard only the usual night sounds. John's sleep was restless and Sam was snoring lightly. Rodney was breathing heavily just as he always did and whimpering came from Jennifer. He knew for a fact that Dusty was still awake because he could hear her bare feet whispering across the carpet.

The door gave one short squeak as she opened it and stepped out into the hall. She was in her nightshirt and he knew for a fact that she was as naked underneath as he was under his. Her right hand trailed up his left arm as she reached up to kiss him. He thumbed on his weapon's safety and laid it on the small table to his right where it was within reach.

Dusty lifted his nightshirt as he did the same for her. He turned them to press her back against the wall, his hands sliding down the back of her thighs and lifting her up so their bodies could join once again. When the big finish arrived, their mouths swallowed the sounds of pleasure before they could escape and wake the others. She kissed him again and went back into the room with one last glance over her shoulder.

Ronon picked up his weapon and continued his patrol. He didn't know what had come over him or Dusty for that matter, but once the door had shut behind them tonight, they'd been all over each other. Like him, she didn't say much and he sensed that she too didn't have sex with random people she barely knew. But when they got together tonight, it was an explosive combination, in more ways than one.

He clamped down on his guilt for what they'd just done. They'd compromised the team's safety by having sex while he was on duty. That had never happened before. As punishment, he took Rodney's turn on guard duty.

Determined that he wouldn't expose the team to danger on this or any other mission ever again, he also intended to take Dusty's shift. However, one hour before her patrol was to start, she appeared at the door in full BDU, gave him a long passionate kiss and ordered him back to bed for the rest of the night.

* * *

Dusty walked the upper floor for a hour or so then descended to the first to check it out, never straying far from the staircase. Outside she could hear the beginnings of the village waking up. She blew a bubble and sucked it back in before it could pop. She wanted to go behind the bar and get a beer but drinking on duty was forbidden. _So's having sex on duty and you did that_, she reminded herself. She felt really guilty for that though it was her idea and planned on making it a part of her report, regardless of the consequences. _I'll talk it over with Ronon when he gets up._

Her conversation with herself over, Dusty went back to the second floor and sat down on the top step to wait for the sun to come up.

* * *

When Dusty's three hours ended, none of the others had come out of their rooms and she could still hear them sleeping. After briefly considering waking them up, she made the arbitrary decision to let them sleep a while longer.

Two hours later Ronon came out fully dressed looking like he'd slept all night instead of less than five. They talked quietly for a short time and he _strongly advised_ her not to include their little tryst in the hall as part of her report. While he was a civilian and not technically her superior, she would do as he suggested. He didn't explain his reasoning and she didn't ask him to. They made plans to meet for dinner when they got back to Atlantis, schedules permitting, and waited for the rest of the team to join them.

**The Sun Is But a Morning Star**

Sam felt the shroud of sleep begin to lift from her still tired mind. She took a breath and snuggled deeper into the warmth beneath her. A small smile turned up the corners of her mouth at the steady thump-thump under her hand. Until she felt the surface shift. That's when she realized she was naked. Not a stitch of clothing covered her body, just the sheet, quilt and spread.

Her eyes snapped open, blinking several times to bring everything into focus especially the fact that she wasn't actually lying on the bed, at least not completely. She was draped over someone's chest, her right leg bent and dropped between the other person's thighs. A male someone if what she felt pressing into her thigh was what she thought it was, they were. She shifted slightly and the hand resting on her ribs just below her right breast flexed. His other hand was lazily stroking the back of hers where it rested over his heart. When she tried to remove it, that hand disappeared and was tucked over his head and under the back of the pillow.

Slowly lifting her head so she wouldn't wake him, Sam looked down at the dog tags that were nestled in that concave spot just above his abs. _Sheppard, John M._ It only confirmed what she already knew. She took hold of two of the fingers on her ribs and tried to remove his hand but he just held on tighter.

Not knowing what else to do, she lifted her leg up and over his, the hairs on his leg brushing along her inner thigh and sending a small arrow of awareness shimmering along her nerves. Her heart beat a little faster when her brain finally churned up memories from the previous night. _Oh, crap!_

Using a tendril of her long hair, she tickled John's nose and the hand around her waist moved to rub that spot then joined the other hooked over the back of the pillow. She quickly scooted out the other side of the bed. Her clothes were folded on the chair she'd pulled away from the vanity. Everything was there except her boxers. Sweeping her hand under the covers, she located wads of clothing at the foot of the bed. One pair of the boxers was khaki green with the USAF logo on one leg. The other much larger pair was white with "Flyboys do it in the air" across the back and an F/A-22 Raptor flying out the front opening. Those she tossed away with the nightshirts and quickly pulled her boxers on. She reached for her sports bra, stuck her arms in and yanked it over her head. It rolled getting caught in her hair and she muttered an oath under her breath.

"Here, let me help."

Her hair came loose and the back of her bra was pulled down into place. "Thanks."

"No problem."

Sam had one arm in her tank shirt before she realized what had just happened. She gasped and spun around, pulling the spread up to cover herself from the neck down. John was sitting up in bed wearing nothing but the covers and his unreadable expression.

Hiding her unease behind her Soldier Sam mask, she quickly gathered up the rest of her uniform with the hand not holding the spread. The bathroom was on John's side of the room so there was no way she could make it without letting go of the cover and she huffed in exasperation. "Would you _please_ not look?" Obediently, John covered his face with a pillow and she scampered around the foot of the bed.

Just before the door closed, she heard his muffled voice say, "Love the tattoo by the way."

With a growl she slammed the door so hard it rattled the mirror above the dresser. It opened just a crack a split second later. "We have to…"

"…talk. Yeah."

The door closed more gently this time.

* * *

Rodney rolled over, rubbed his eyes and yawned. Once again he'd awakened with Jennifer in his arms only this time it had a different feeling. Before, it had just been two friends comforting each other while on a mission where nothing had gone right. Her head resting on his shoulder, he looked down at her face noting that the tension and fatigue that was usually around her eyes was gone making her seem so much younger than her years.

A sudden surge of…something, he wasn't sure what, spread through him starting where her hand rested on his chest, infusing him with an emotion he'd never experienced. Not an expert by any means, if he had to guess, he'd say it was the beginnings of love.

Their first night on this planet, in this bed together, had been awkward, yet somehow she'd made him feel like she really cared about _him_ and not just what he could do, the things he could fix, the problems he could solve with only seconds left on the clock. So much so that when she'd awakened from a nightmare of the Bola Kai, he'd just held her, comforting her.

She'd touched him tenderly on the cheek in gratitude and he'd given in to an impulse. That first kiss had been a mistake because it had led to them spending the next couple of hours making love. He'd said as much in the morning and they'd argued. However, last night, he'd apologized and they'd spent the rest of the night in each other's arms, awakening in the morning refreshed and ready for anything the universe could throw at them.

* * *

The six members of the team met in the hall and headed down for breakfast. Sitting next to Rodney, who was next to John, and across from Sam, Jennifer could sense tension between her and John in the way they refused to look at each other even when speaking. She had an idea, but would never voice her suspicions because it would put their careers at risk. Ronon and Dusty, on the other hand, were just the same as always though they did give each other looks that said something had happened between them last night.

And Rodney, well, he was oblivious to the undercurrents in the room as he shoveled food into his mouth and chattered incessantly about all the cool stuff he and his team would get to play with when they got back to Atlantis. Jennifer just sighed and went back to her meal.

* * *

On the walk to the Stargate, Sam dropped back between Rodney and Jennifer. "Um, Jennifer, did you and Rodney…"

"What?"

"Did the two of you…" she wasn't sure how to ask what she wanted to ask without really asking, "…experience anything…odd during the night?"

"No. Slept all night." Jennifer told her in all honesty.

Rodney agreed. "Yeah. Best night's sleep ever."

Jennifer touched Rodney on the arm. "Don't forget to thank Ronon."

"Huh? Oh, right." The physicist slowed down until he was walking beside the Satedan. "Thanks for, you know, not waking me last night."

Ronon flicked his eyes at the back of Dusty's head. As if she knew he was looking at her, she blew a bubble and let it pop. "Don't mention it."

**At the Stargate**

Lieutenant Tommy Stackhouse set the Jumper down thirty meters from the Stargate. Four others came through and hovered in the air awaiting orders. The hatch opened and he stood to greet his CO. "Colonel Sheppard, sir. A fleet of Jumpers filled with scientists and doctors as ordered."

"Thanks, Lieutenant."

The team piled into Jumper One, John's favorite, the young man deferring the pilot seat to his CO, and John lifted off, automatically engaging the cloak so they wouldn't be seen by the villagers. He flew to the cave entrance where Samira was standing outside waiting for them. Decloaking, he landed and she met them at the hatch.

Behind them, the other four Jumpers landed and their passengers emerged. The scientists walked over to their department head while the medical personnel gathered round Jennifer and the soldiers stood near Sheppard awaiting orders. Also in the cave and at the castle was medical equipment and files that Atlantis' CMO was taking control of. Medical and Science and Research would be working closely together to discover what they could use as is and what they could adapt. They wouldn't be able to travel to the castle until it was determined that any weapons or booby-traps were neutralized so Jennifer would spend the time until then supervising the removal of what few medical devices were in the caves Samira called home.

She hadn't told the others, but Samira had made her promise to do a thorough study not only of the medical database, but of her body as well once she was gone and she'd agreed, albeit reluctantly.

**Samira's Home**

"Welcome back." Samira watched them disembark, sensing that there was something not quite right with the group who'd had each other's backs so steadfastly that first day. "Is everything alright?"

Sam preceded John out onto the hard ground. Standing in the sunshine, they looked at each other then away. "Yes." Sam answered for all of them. "Could we get started? I-_we're_ ready to go home."

"Of course." Samira turned to Rodney. "Everything is prepared."

"Great. Lead the way." He followed her and Sam into the cave, his staff close behind, Jennifer and her people bringing up the rear.

"The _Daedalus_ will be here in a few hours to transport the equipment." Sam had been curious about something and voiced it now. "Samira, why are you doing this?"

"Giving you the last remnants of my people's technology?" At Sam's nod, she clasped her hands together in front of her. They'd reached the huge cavern, their voices echoing slightly. "Soon I will have no further use for it."

**TBC**


	8. The End of the Journey

**A/N:** This is a birthday gift for my good friend and brainstorming buddy, LoneRanger1. He and I share the same birthday though not the same year. He's younger than I am, but has an old soul. Um, that's a good thing.

Many thanks to ladygris, Shadows-of-Realm, dwparsnip and DaniWilder for their assistance with brainstorming and Beta-ing.

FYI - If you don't read the next chapter, you'll miss nothing. The epilogue is merely one of my quirks.

_Feliz Cumpleaños, mi amigo!_

Sandy

**Never Tickle a Sleeping Dragon**

**Chapter 8**

**The End of the Journey**

"Excuse me?"

Sam and Samira stopped walking, Rodney, Jennifer, John and their people flowing around them as Rodney led the way, shouting orders and giving directions for the removal of the items Samira was turning over to them.

"My life's journey is coming to an end. By the end of the next lunar cycle, I will at long last go to join the Ancestors."

"Wh-but…are you certain? Jennifer…"

Samira shook her head and began walking again. "She and I have already spoken. There is nothing that can be done." Sam followed her into the room where they'd had that pivotal moment in both their lives. "I have seen this happen to far too many of my people. The signs are unmistakable."

Drawing Sam over to the cracked mirror, they looked at their reflections side by side. Their height, body shape, weight, facial features were eerily similar. Jennifer had done a DNA comparison, but they had no common genetic factors except for being human. That they looked so much alike was just a big fat cosmic coincidence. "Until three lunar cycles ago, I looked as you do. Young, strong, vibrant and full of life, my face and body unchanged by the passage of time." She touched the wrinkles on her face as if she were a stranger to herself and sighed. "And though my body still has much of the strength of youth, it will fade quickly, has already begun." She turned away from her reflection. "You do not know how hard I fought the day we met though I knew I couldn't win."

"Um, how will it, you know…"

"The end will come without warning. I will simply…stop."

"But…come with us to Atlantis. Maybe there's something in the Ancient's medical database that can help you. We can put you in stasis until we figure something out." Sam didn't like that she sounded almost desperate. Plus there was Samira's calm acceptance of what was to come. It made her angry that she would just lie down and die, give up without a fight.

"No. Here is where I have lived most of my life and here is where I will die." Samira turned to face Sam.

"But…" Sam knew this was an argument she wouldn't win so she gave in though not gracefully.

John entered at that moment. "Colonel, I've sent Jumpers to the castle to check out the weapons stores. Cadman's with them. We should know something in an hour or so." His eyes met Sam's then looked quickly away.

"Okay."

He nodded and left with Samira watching him curiously. "Samantha, is something wrong? You and John seem uncomfortable in each other's presence."

"Um, well, the, uh, villagers thought-_think_ he's my…mate so when they gave us rooms, well, we didn't want to insult them so we had to…share. There was only one bed and uh…"

"Ah, I see. Last night you became mates in truth."

Sam didn't like the humorously knowing glint in Samira's eyes so she looked away and nodded.

"Did you by any chance eat the dark berries that grow in a cluster on small stems?" Again Sam nodded. "I didn't think to warn you about them when you told me about your first night in Fritheswithe. They contain a chemical that activates the brain's pleasure center. Eating just a few gives you a mild euphoria and even makes it easier to fall asleep. More removes one's natural inhibitions and increases the libido by several factors."

"They're an _aphrodisiac_?" Samira looked confused, "A substance that increases, um, sexual desire." _And we made pigs of ourselves! Well, not Rodney and Jennifer, but the rest of us did._

"Yes. But for you and John to have reacted as you did, there had to have been an underlying physical attraction." Gripping Sam's hand in comfort, Samira drew her attention from where she was staring at the floor. "Now that you have become more than friends…"

"It _can't_ continue. We're both military. I'm his commanding officer and there are non-fraternization regs we have to abide by."

"That is sad because you seem so right for each other."

Sam said nothing though secretly she agreed. Of course, she'd also thought the same about Jack at one time. They'd even explored that aspect of their relationship. However, it hadn't worked out as either had hoped. Now they were friends, but that's as far as it went. John on the other hand was a much better fit as a, uh, mate. From what happened last night, she now knew they were compatible in every way. She just didn't know how they could be together without one of them having to give up their career. She wasn't ready to retire and would never ask John to, assuming he felt the same way.

Rodney interrupted her thoughts by bursting into the room. He was more excited than she'd ever seen him. "Sam! Sam! You gotta _see_ this!"

"Calm _down_, Rodney."

"Sorry. Can't." He rushed out again then came back and gestured impatiently for her to join him.

"_Fine_. I'll be right there." Sam turned back to Samira. "He's, um, _really_ excited."

The older woman smiled in understanding and gave Sam's hand a quick squeeze. "Please go. We can talk later."

* * *

With a nod, Sam was gone and Samira could hear her calling Rodney's name out in the passage. She went to the hidden panel where she kept the sword that had been given to her by the people of the village so many years ago. Running her fingers over the metal, she carried it to the middle of the mat. After a quick warm-up, she started one of the routines she'd created to keep her skills sharp. Without them, she wouldn't have lasted as long as she had in her fight with Sam.

Samira swung the sword in the same figure eight that she'd used the day she fought with Sam. Bringing the sword out in front of her, she clasped it with both hands and turned to the left, legs wide. The tip of the sword sketched a one-meter circle as she stepped back into a crouch, the hilt of the sword close to her right side just above her waist. Pushing off on her back leg, she stabbed, dipped and swirled the tip of the sword, stepping into a straight on stab then retreating as if from an attack by her unseen assailant. A double step forward to pursue her attacker, dodging to the left then the right to avoid being hit, she attacked and retreated, pursued and withdrew. As she continued, her aggression and anger increased. Even Ronon might have thought twice about engaging her in battle if he could see her now.

And the longer Samira battled the angrier she got. Her people said that death was the next great adventure, but she disagreed. _Life_ was the greatest adventure, one she wasn't prepared to relinquish.

With a growl, she became almost savage as she attempted to slay an opponent she could no longer deny: death. But she also knew death was inevitable as all things must depart this life in their time. Ironically, that's what fed her anger. It was as if someone had doused her emotions with an accelerant and struck a match.

Panting hard, she swung the sword and spun around, slashing the air and mortally injuring her imaginary foe. With one last cry of rage, the sword whooshed through the air nearly taking off the head of a young man in uniform unlucky enough to have stepped into the room at that precise moment. Realizing what she'd almost done, she slowly released her tight grip on the hilt and rested the sword against the wall. She wiped her sweaty palms down the sides of her pants and tugged her top back into place.

"Excuse me, Ma'am. Do you know where Colonel Sheppard is?"

Samira didn't trust herself to speak so she just pointed to the right, the direction she'd last seen him headed.

"Thanks." The young man hurried away and she didn't blame him. She'd frightened herself with the level of rage she possessed that had not seen the light of day in over a hundred years. Going to the cold storage unit, she took out a bottle of wine she'd been keeping for who knew how long.

This particular wine only got better with age so it should be beyond exquisite by now. In anticipation of the sweetness on her tongue, she started to open the bottle, but thought better of it. Why waste it on someone who was dying? It would be a gift to Sam and her companions to be drunk on a special occasion of their choosing. She replaced it in its former place of honor and went down the hall to her room.

While showering and changing, she made the decision to go back to the village and tell them the truth about everything. They would likely hate her for deceiving them for all these years but she wanted, _needed_ to…release her burden before joining the ancestors.

**Exactly Four Weeks Later**

Sam didn't want to be here. She'd already seen too many people she cared about die, but she'd made a promise. Surrounded by her friends, and those who gathered behind, she was here to pay last respects to a friend whom she'd known for too short a time.

Samira had told the people of Fritheswithe the truth about how they'd originally come to this planet, the legend of Samira and Ashkore, and the Chakram. Despite that, they still thought of her as a savior and a hero, certain that she'd only done what she thought best to protect them. They were good people and understood why they'd been allowed to believe as they had for so long.

In her dress blues, Sam stepped forward, her heels sinking slightly in the soft dirt of the hillside just north of the village. She didn't need notes or a book to read from as she stood before the coffin. The words had been committed to memory. Clearing her throat, she began. "We are here today to honor the passing of a friend. Though we hadn't known her long, her friendship, given without hesitation or condition, was a precious gift. Samira never wondered if what she was doing was right or wrong, she just knew. Now that she's gone, I leave you with these words on her behalf…

_"Life is but a stopping place,_  
_A pause in what's to be,_  
_A resting place along the road,_  
_to sweet eternity._  
_We all have different journeys,_  
_Different paths along the way,_  
_We all were meant to learn some things,_  
_but never meant to stay..._  
_Our destination is a place,_  
_Far greater than we know._  
_For some the journey's quicker,_  
_For some the journey's slow._  
_And when the journey finally ends,_  
_We'll claim a great reward,_  
_And find an everlasting peace,_  
_Together with the Lord." _

* * *

John, standing at Sam's side as was his place as her second in command, let the backs of his fingers touch hers, the only comfort he could provide in public. It was also the only comfort he could take from her. He felt her fingers flex and knew she wanted to take his hand but couldn't. If word of their personal relationship got back to the IOA, their careers would be irrevocably damaged and neither was ready to become a private citizen yet.

The villagers filed silently past the open grave, tossing a handful of dirt or flowers on top of the coffin or saying a prayer. What they didn't know, and would never know, is that soon the coffin would be empty. The _Daedalus_ would transport Samira's body and all that would be buried was the sword that Samira had cherished until the end, the one given to her by the villagers more than three hundred years ago.

Elspeth, the last in the long line of mourners, stopped in front of the people from Atlantis. "The Lady Samira never told us the name of her people. Now that the last of them has gone, they should be honored in a way that will remind everyone of the sacrifices that had been made to save our ancestors from those you call the Wraith. From this day forward, this world and her people will now be known as Tanahsamira."

Sam turned to John. "Colonel Sheppard?"

"I'll have McKay make the change when we return to Atlantis, Colonel."

The leader of Tanahsamira gave them both a smile. "It is our custom to celebrate the life rather than mourn the passing of a departed one. We invite you to join us. In addition, we will also celebrate the renaming of this world and have a special treat for you and your people."

"Thank you. We'll be there."

* * *

John and Ronon were drinking beer while they waited for the others to come down from changing out of their dressy clothes. Elspeth and the village elders were at this moment completing the preparations for a celebration that was part memorial for the passing of Samira and part special event that involved the six of them.

After draining his glass, Ronon kicked back, his long legs stretched out in front of him. He purposely waited for John to take a drink to ask, "So, you and Carter, huh?"

Beer shot across the table missing the Satedan by barely an inch as John choked. Wiping his mouth, he said, "What?"

"You. Carter." He smirked and raised one eyebrow.

"Um…" John tried but couldn't meet Ronon's intense knowing gaze. "Not that I'm confirming or denying, but you're not gonna, you know, say anything, are you?"

"No."

"Good." John drank his beer in silence until he heard footsteps coming down the stairs. "Thanks, Chewy."

Jennifer, Sam, Rodney and Dusty pulled chairs out and sat down just as Horsik came out of the kitchen with a tray of tankards filled with beer. He placed one in front of each and was gone again. As always, Jennifer and Rodney traded their full ones for empties. Sam didn't say anything, just sat down and sipped her beer.

"What's this all about? I'm ready to get back to Atlantis. It was so hot out there I think I'm getting a heat rash on my…Ow!"

Jennifer gave him a fake sweet smile. "Sorry, Rodney. My foot slipped."

"Enough you two." Sam told them firmly and took a long drink of her beer. "Let's go to this thing."

* * *

Out in the main square the statue of Samira was covered with an enormous cloth. Elspeth climbed up on a riser place alongside the statue and began a long, boring speech that the Atlantis team lost the thread of about two minutes in.

Sam tried to hide a yawn and caught John doing the same thing. He gave her a sheepish smile and a wink that cheered her more than anything else had that day and she returned the gesture. Rodney and Ronon, on the other hand, didn't even try to hide their boredom. When the physicist tried to fade back into the crowd, more than likely to go hide in the tavern with his tablet to work, Jennifer took him by the hand and refused to let go. Thankfully, Elspeth sounded like she was about to get to the point so they could get on with the celebration.

"…and for their parts in saving Tanahsamira, we wish to show our gratitude to the people of Atlantis…" Elspeth nodded to several young men who grasped the edges of the tarp over the statue.

John leaned close to Sam and whispered, "Why do I have a really bad feeling…"

"…with this display created by one of our most talented artisans."

The tarp was removed to reveal that the statue of Samira now had company. Lots of company. Samira still stood with her sword high over her shoulder, but now another statue of a woman who bore a striking resemblance to the original was at her back facing the opposite direction. She had one hand on her hip and her weapon held in the other hand, point sticking into the ground while she glared out at them. Surrounding the two women were fair representations of the rest of the Atlantis team dressed in the clothing they'd been given the morning after their first night in Fritheswithe. All had eerily similar glares, Rodney and John had their backs to each other and arms crossed. Ronon was sitting, one leg dangling over the side the other bent with his arm resting on his knee. Jennifer stood beside Rodney, hands on her hips, with Dusty sitting, her back against Ronon's.

"…about this?" John finished lamely.

Rodney stared at the display then turned to Sam and said, "I do _not_ look like that."

"Do so." Sam countered.

"Uh, _no_, I don't." He turned to the others waiting for their opinions.

Jennifer wasn't able to meet his eyes. "Yeah, you do."

John snorted. "It's you all the way, _Meredith_."

Turning to Ronon and Dusty, he crossed his arms and waited. Ronon nodded and Dusty blew a bubble and sucked it back in. "Yeah. It's you, doc."

With a deep and heartfelt groan of vexation, Rodney huffed. "Well, that _sucks_!"

Elspeth and the elders waited for Sam to make a comment. "Um, it's…"

"…cool," John finished for her. "Right, guys?" He waited for the rest of the team to answer but they stayed silent, just staring at the statues of themselves. "_Right_?" There was a chorus of unenthusiastic responses in the affirmative making him grin.

"What does that mean? Cool." Winifred asked.

"Oh, uh, it means amazing, excellent, wonderful, incredible."

"Ah. We too think it is…cool."

Crossing his arms with supreme satisfaction, John listened as one of his favorite catch phrases made its way around the square.

* * *

In her office back on Atlantis, Sam opened the bottle of wine given to her by Samira before her death and poured each of the team a glass. She made a toast, a simple one that said more than the mere use of the words.

"To absent friends."

**The End**

**A/N:** The Author of "Life is but a Stopping Place" is unknown.


	9. The Road Previously Traveled

**A/N:** Just a little tag to the Dragon story. Enjoy!

**Never Tickle a Sleeping Dragon**

**Epilogue**

**The Road Previously Traveled **

**Is Traveled Once Again**

**Two Hundred Fifty-Three Years Later**

Hisham, new to the archaeology team, led the way down the long dark corridor, the lantern held high in his left hand. Behind him, Barhisa and Jarita attached glowsticks to the walls while Civarin kept track of where they'd already been using the schematic on his computer.

"Civ? How far down are we this time?" Barhisa asked the physicist.

"Mmm. A little more than half a klick. Not scared, are you?"

"Of course not. I was just curious."

Lattysha peered into the gloom. "Sam? Sammy! Where'd ya go?"

"In here!" The voice of their leader called to them from up ahead, her voice echoing slightly. They weren't surprised that she'd gotten separated from them. It happened every time they made the three thousand klick trip from the university at Damasus to the Underground City. Now they were in a newly opened wing of the dig site. A highly advanced society had once lived on Tanahsamira then had disappeared to be replaced by a less technological civilization.

In the room with Sammy was Rakin, her protégé. The two of them were looking around at what they determined to be refrigeration units. And they were still working though they didn't know how that was possible. Not yet at least.

Jarita found another room across the hall from where Sammy was. Pushing the door open, she shone her light around. On the far side they found cradles that held large, semi-transparent crystals less than one meter long with a circular base. The devices were a dark shade of red and inert at the moment. "Barhisa! Civarin!"

The pair rushed into the room to find their companion staring around her in awe.

"Whoa! Are…um, are those what I think they are?" Barhisa asked her green eyes wide.

Civarin nodded slowly, his mouth open as he stepped forward to touch each one with a device for testing the power levels in the modules. "Lady and gentleman, you see before you ten fully functional Zeds."

"Hey! Come on!" Lattysha called out to them. "We hit the jackpot."

"So did we." Barhisa was the last one into the other room and voiced what they were all thinking. "This is so…um, Sammy, what's the word?"

"Cool." Their leader pushed her short black hair off her forehead.

"Yeah. Cool."

After an inspection of the Zeds, Sammy agreed. "Much cooler than the empty coffin with the sword and almost as cool as finding out that Ashkore's lair was really Samira's living quarters."

Everyone but Hisham began examining the locking mechanisms on the units trying to determine how to open them without disturbing or destroying the contents. "Um, Sam, I uh…"

"What, Hisham?" Her voice was distracted as she ran her fingers along the edge of the largest of the units. "Don't tell me. You want to know if the rumors are true, that I was named after the legendary Samira. Well, the answer is no."

"Oh. Sorry I, uh…" The man pushed his glasses up on his nose and turned to help Lattysha move a table.

"Don't be. I was named after Samira's successor, Samantha. It was said that she and her people were the first of many from other worlds to come through the Chakram and make contact with our ancestors in the village of Fritheswithe." She glared over her shoulder when her companions made stifled sounds of amusement. "I _know_. If you think that's embarrassing, my siblings are named after Samantha's companions, Geniver, Dulari, Johan, Royden and Ronel."

"So your parents are historians?"

"No. I guess you could say I'm in the family business. They're archaeologists and linguists."

Civarin had been examining a device in the corner and a few moments later the lights came on. He looked very pleased with himself when the others praised him. "In lieu of applause, I accept gifts of food and cash. And I wouldn't say no if you wanted to set me up with your one of your sisters, Sam."

"My sisters don't believe in interspecies dating," was the scathing response. "My brothers, on the other hand, have very _low_ dating standards. I'm sure I can convince one of them to have dinner with you." The smirk on her face could easily be heard in her voice.

Civarin groaned pretending to be mortally wounded then went back to work. Within minutes, he had another piece of equipment up and running. "Looks like a computer." The others gathered around watching over his shoulder. "Let's see…" He tapped at the symbols on the flat rectangle in front of the monitor until he found what he wanted. "Oohh…contact. It looks like an inventory listing of everything that's stored here. If I'm translating this correctly, and you know I am, that one over there…" he pointed over his shoulder at one of the units, "…contains, among other things, an anti-aging vaccine."

"Couldn't have worked all that well," Rakin remarked with a touch of sarcasm.

Barhisa shot him a derisive snort. "Oh? How do you figure?"

"Look at this place." Rankin waved at the room and the vast complex extending in all directions from their location. "If it had worked, they'd still be around and we wouldn't be digging through their leftovers trying to figure out what made them tick."

"Enough, you guys. Let's focus on work before our funding disappears."

As one, her companions chorused, "Yes, Samantha."

Sammy couldn't stop a snort of amusement as she went back to work. Suddenly, a tremor rumbled through the area shaking the ground and causing a scattering of dust to drift down on them. When it stopped, there was dead silence for all of three seconds.

"Ashkore sure is restless tonight," Lattysha remarked.

A burst of laughter echoed through the room then quieted as they returned to the serious business of archaeology.

_**Todo Finito**_

**A/N: **Damasus is the patron saint of archaeologists.


End file.
